This is why I hate myself

I recently subscribed to Stitch Fix and was sent a pair of jeans. Super cute. Expensive, but super cute. Oh, and too small. I keep thinking I’m smaller than I am.

A friend suggested I go to Maurices because they were having a sale on jeggings, buy one get one free, and she said these were stretchy and comfortable. OK. I can get on board with that. Olivia needed snow pants, so I took her along and made the pit stop at the store. To be fair, Maurices is my favorite place to buy clothes. I can always find something I like, something that is flattering on me. And I have bought pants with them in the past, but not since my hips and belly have widened. It was the first time Olivia had officially been clothes shopping with me and she thought the dressing rooms were out of this world. I found the jeggings and took in a few pairs of different colors.

Unfortunately, the large was way too small. I buttoned them and was spilling out everywhere.

This wasn’t going to work. I found the XL and those were better. (Don’t get me started on the hideousness that is women’s sizes. I’m definitely overweight, but having an XL not fit comfortably… there is something wrong here.) I decided to get them because I only have one pair of jeans and they’re maternity and while they’re super comfortable, they’re slightly too big (they were a hand me down, and I’m too cheap to buy a new pair). But these jeggings, they weren’t nearly as comfortable as my stretchy-banded maternity jeans. And then Olivia got up from the bench while I took them off and proceeded to put her hands on my belly and jiggle it around. She even made the sound.

“Big old belly! Jjjjjjigle!”

Jean shopping with Olivia

“Uh uh,” I brushed her hands away. I know she’s four and is just making an observation about her mom’s jiggly belly, but uh uh. So I explained to her how that’s not kind to say and we don’t jiggle Mom’s belly. Real parenting skills here, folks.

I got back into my own pants and was putting my shoes back on, when she announced (loudly), “Mama! I not going to talk about your big old belly! Mama! I’m not going to say dat.”

In which I shot her daggers and she honestly looked perplexed. “But Mama, I am not going to tell you dat! I’m just going to THINK about it!”

I give up. I’m done.

Jean shopping with Olivia

We ended up not being able to find snow pants, but she did get to go into the dressing room at Old Navy to “try on” a shirt and some clearanced shoes, so with the exception of her innocent fat-shaming, she made a pretty good shopping buddy.

I’m still stewing about not being able to fit into my jeggings, though.

Microblog Mondays

14 Comments

  1. Beth
    February 10, 2020 / 8:10 am

    There is no worse form of torture than jeans shopping. I can’t even stand to go to the store, I do this really brilliant thing where I order a bunch online, try them all on at home, and return them all. However. I have found the Old Navy 24/7 rockstar jeans to be stretchy and comfortable. I prefer them to the Old Navy jeggings even. More stretch. They’re 1/2 off today FYI. I suggest ordering several and trying them on at home. Good luck.
    Ps – Don’t hate yourself for failures of retailers to dress real bodies.

    • Risa
      Author
      February 10, 2020 / 1:35 pm

      Ha! That’s a really great idea! And I’ll have to check out the Old Navy sale. And thanks for the PS. It’s so true, isn’t it?

  2. February 10, 2020 / 9:54 am

    A few weeks after Sam was born, 3-year-old Abigail walked up, poked my middle and said, “Mummy, what’s that big puffy bit where the baby was? It’s all squishy!”

    Kids have no filters : )

    With everything your body has gone through, the nonsense measurements at clothes stores do not get to judge. Loved your Stitch Fix reviews and your photos always look gorgeous.

    • Risa
      Author
      February 10, 2020 / 1:43 pm

      No. Filter. But maybe that honesty is good? And thank you!

  3. rose
    February 10, 2020 / 2:18 pm

    Second baby. Nursing. Way too early to think you have shape back. Be as kind to you as you are to me! understand you need second pair of pants, go stretch and inexpensive. Sizing is just numbers not grades or pay levels and company fit models are not you. IGNORE SIZE LABELS is what that means. ALSO, be comfortable.
    DO NOT HATE YOURSELF. Your body has created 2 lives and sustains yours. LOVE IT.

  4. February 10, 2020 / 2:25 pm

    Please cut yourself some slack- you just had a baby!

  5. February 10, 2020 / 7:42 pm

    Oh, Olivia, you adorable fat-shamer. Although, little kids love jiggly bellies, as I’ve been told by my friends’ children and my friend was repeatedly told by her young kids (one of whom smushed his face into her belly at the beach and said “Mommy’s big soft belly, biiiiig soft and SQUISHY belly!”). I agree with you, women’s sizing is utter crap. Some places more than others (I’m looking at you, Target, where I have to wear an XXL shirt, which is just stupid). I am desperately trying to feel good about how things fit and not freak about the numbers or letters on the tag, but it’s hard. Especially because I also tend to think I’m smaller than I am. You are beautiful, and adorable, and you literally just had a tiny human inside you, so I think you (and Olivia) can be kinder to your belly. But I get it (minus the tiny human piece, mine is solely cheese and guacamole). May you find pants that make you happy!

    • Risa
      Author
      February 12, 2020 / 10:43 am

      Oh yes. Target. I have a few amazing tank tops from there and yeah, XXL when normally I’d run a medium/large. And thank you. Mine is largely pizza and chips. Oy.

  6. Ashley Kintigh
    February 11, 2020 / 8:24 pm

    But did you try the Everflex? I LOATHE Maurice’s jeggings, but their Everflex Boot cut. Flared. Straight. Jeggings. They’re outstanding and high rise. They’re like jeggings, but have a vast amount of NORMAL sizes not the S M L XL BS! On the note of “mom’s jiggly belly,” Chloe use to shake my fat rolls and tell me it was like dough. “Doughy, doughy, doughy!” I made a big deal about it so she thought it was funny. Then I decided to act like NBD..it stopped! I was shocked! Jeans suck, Mama! You just do you

    • Risa
      Author
      February 12, 2020 / 10:45 am

      Bah ha ha! I know, I know I shouldn’t make a thing out of it. I usually don’t but… people in the other dressing rooms. I panicked. But no, I should look at those next time I’m there.

  7. February 13, 2020 / 4:42 am

    oh yeah kids can be brutal with their honesty! I remember once as a kid commenting loudly to a big group of relations that my Grandma had a double chin (she was there too). I’m sure that didn’t go down well!

    • Risa
      Author
      February 13, 2020 / 9:54 pm

      Oh gosh!

  8. Stephanie
    February 16, 2020 / 12:23 pm

    Girl, I am in the very same boat. I had one pair of maternity jeans that I wore until they literally split open was I was bending down to shove the reusable grocery bags under my cart. That was a fine moment. I don’t know if it’s the second c-section or just my stomach in general but I can’t stand to have anything pushing on my stomach. Jeans are the worst. So I went out and bought 3 pairs of jeans in a size up from pre-pregnancy that feel ok (not great by any means) in my stomach but are too big everywhere else. I can’t win. Someone should come up with a line of just postpartum clothing. Jeans in particular. Because postpartum isn’t hard enough, let’s make it so you don’t feel comfortable in anything other than nursing tanks and sweats. ‍♀️

    • Risa
      Author
      February 17, 2020 / 9:47 am

      Yes, I don’t know what it is, but I swear the C-section incision has played a role in me not being able to have that pressure on my stomach. I would be all over that postpartum line of clothing.

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