June 2020 in review

Well, this is publishing way later than it was supposed to. June was about waiting for our pool to arrive, figuring out food allergies, and how to deal with tantrums. It was getting out into public more, dealing with the hell of social media and the divide that’s on there—very much a “them versus us” and I’m trying to figure out how I fit on there. Or even if I want to.

We had a semi-busyish month of celebrating Father’s Day, getting together in very small packs of friends and family, and transitioning to summer.

I AM CURRENTLY…

Working through getting out of this depression on my own without meds. I’m so back and forth and have had multiple conversations with my therapist on whether or not I should (or need to) call my doctor to get back on meds. I know this is all related to isolation and not having my downtime that I need for my sanity. And I know that sounds very privilaged. I’m an introvert and while I love my time with people, I need time away to recharge. The last three and a half months have taken away both of those things. The good news my knee pain has gotten better, and I’ve been losing weight. I went down from a large to a medium in clothing (though apparently ass is still rotund) and it’s done some good for my mental health.

CHRIS IS CURRENTLY…

Father’s Day was a bit different this year, but we still got to celebrate this guy. He is still planning on running the Twin Cities marathon in October, but it’s been converted to a virtual event. His work has been a bit crazy lately, with him working 50 hour weeks, but we still (me especially) love having him home. He’s currently the love of Olivia’s life. The baby loves him too but would drop him like a bad habit if I walked in the room.

OLIVIA IS CURRENTLY…

Done with the weirdness of her first preschool year. I’m so sad for her, being that she hardly got to go to preschool before the virus hit. We’ve been seeing some friends which has been so good for her mentally and emotionally. She’s been dealing with some BIG feelings which means big tantrums, and it’s something we’re trying to help her through. She’s really been into having us tell her stories at night before bed, epic sagas that extend through three nights or more. She’s been into picking flowers, pointing out every bug that gets in the house, and showing us impressive new dance moves. I’m actually really proud of the way she’s been able to play by herself (at times), but I realized this month her love language is totally Quality Time and Chris and I try our best to give her that when we can.

EMELIA IS CURRENTLY…

Rolling on the floor like crazy and probably doesn’t need to learn how to crawl since she can travel like a boss this way. We spent the last half of the month really getting into baby-led weaning. It took her about a week to get over her confusion at what we were doing, but now she enthusiastically reaches for and samples everything we put on her tray. She’s getting a little better at sitting up on her own but can’t do it without someone sitting behind her.

THE GOOD

• I was able to advocate for Emelia to get weekly PT visits instead of the monthly ones that were frustrating me because of COVID. We were able to progress to appointments twice a month and she’s been making more progress.
• My mom got to hold Emelia (this was attempt number 2 because the first time she cried the saddest cry like my mom was going to kidnap her) and then my dad got to hold her the following week. That time she happily went to him, though it took lots of staring and rolling on the floor by him before she’d allow him the honor of picking her up. She has the usual stranger danger, but COVID has made it worse.

• My friend has a daughter a year older than Olivia and she gave us a ton of 6/6X clothes so Olivia is set for the next year plus.
• Also, Olivia started back at daycare! So far it’s been alternating weeks that she is going due to her provider’s vacation time, but we’re heading in the right direction of some normalcy. Plus, the kid misses her friends.
• We got our ten-foot above ground pool and got to swim in it on the last day of the month. This will make COVID a little easier to navigate.

THE BAD

• We found out Emelia has leg tightness—they call her a “pushy” baby and they don’t know why it happens but some babies just feel better arching and pushing. She’s been doing this since she was a bitty baby, and I had no idea this was a thing. So it explains why she’s not sitting and why she’s not able to get on all fours by this point to prepare to crawl. It’s discouraging, but hopefully the magic will happen soon.
• Olivia has been getting car sick. Either that or it’s due to the motion of the car triggering her migraines. Luckily, it’s been only one time that she actually got sick in the car, but I’ve been having to go back to my coping mechanisms when she says her stomach is hurting while we drive.
• Toby needed a tooth pulled, and $900 later along with a dental cleaning, he’s all good, with white teeth, but now we have to revisit what we’re going to do with the fence down in our yard. It’s actually not ours, but the guy who owns the house has let all three sides of his (HIS!) fence sit there fallen until the neighbors on either side of him caved and installed new ones. Looks like we’re heading that way as well considering it’s been down for a year and he won’t do anything about it. Must be nice to get brand new fencing all over the yard when it was your fucking fence that disintegrated to begin with.
• Olivia has discovered my old Barbies and Polly Pockets and it’s been great to let her play on the floor of my office while I get some work done during the day.

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• Emelia fell off our bed. Olivia did the same thing when she was probably her age, and I felt terrible. She’s been perfectly fine and I talked to the nicest triage nurse after it happened. But no more being unsupervised on our bed while I run to get a new diaper. Oy.
• We lost my uncle in a motorcycle accident on June 26th. Finding out was…awful.

ON MY MIND

• I feel like most of June was focused on Emelia’s potential food allergies. It started out with trying peanut butter and getting a weird rash, and we consulted with an allergist. Luckily, her scratch testing revealed she didn’t have allergies to peanuts or eggs, so we’re gradually starting her on those.
• After doing some web design for a client, I decided to give my own site a boost with a new color scheme.
• I don’t get hate mail often, but I did this month. I guess it was from this post? Anyway, it wasn’t a long rant, sort of short, but lacking any sort of sweetness and apparently, I should be policed on my own blog?

You really should stay out of politics on your blog, we don’t care what your opinion is and you are just proving how narrow minded and ignorant liberals are.

To which I say, fuck you kthnxbai. The snotty emails telling me what I shouldn’t post about on a website that I outright own? Pathetic. So no, Lydia. I’m not going to stop posting what I want to talk about for you. You in my space. Deal with it or leave.

• While we’re on the subject—Trump. I can’t anymore. I can’t deal with this guy. I can’t deal with vocal racists. I can’t deal with the toxic wasteland that is social media. If you follow my Facebook page, you may have noticed I haven’t been on there much. Since COVID hit, my engagement there has tanked and my posts get buried much of the time. So I go back and forth on whether or not I’m just done with it, or if I just need a break. I go back and forth if I should focus my efforts on Instagram or if I should focus on my newsletters. I don’t know. I love blogging, but getting it out there so people can find it is what’s hard.
• So let’s see what else? Oh, yeah, researching chlorine and pool maintenance. That’s been fun too.

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Read more monthly review posts here.