For me, sex never led to a pregnancy. In fact, for years, sex and getting pregnant were on two completely different planes. The only thing that ever worked for me was medical intervention by multiple fertility doctors in state-of-the-art clinics.
After seven IVF cycles and two traumatic births, I could safely say I was finished with my baby-making journey. I was resigned to not having children. Getting pregnant on my own was the last thing I expected, but then one month my period was late.
I remember th emoment so clearly at my postpartum check, one of several because of the barrage of issues that had come up for my labor and delivery. The worst over, the trauma of the prolonged hospital stay behind me, reeling from new motherhood, I sat on the bench facing my OB-GYN.
“Normally I talk to you about birth control at this visit, but…” He trailed off and we both laughed. If it was one thing my body knew how to do really well, it was not getting pregnant.
For four years after that OB-GYN visit, I lived my life as a mom to a little girl after years of infertility and loss. I had sex with abandon, no condoms, no birth control pills. For the first time in my married life, I wasn’t thinking about that next fertility cycle, that next round of hormones.
It took another two tries to get it pregnant again, and last year I gave birth to our second and final baby. Another traumatic birth, perhaps even more so than the first. I had breakdown after breakdown, a baby in the NICU, an eleven-day hospital stay. I told my husband never again.
Read the rest of this article over at YourTango.
I definitely did not have the extent of fertility struggles you did but did do IUI’s and IVF and as you know that unexpected but welcomed pregnancy can still happen. Although, I will definitely be making the permanent fix after baby #2.
Read it. Support to you. Also complete understanding. You may get other kinds of responses, trolly people will do their troll thing. But the path you walked is familiar and I support you in ALL the complex emotions. Sending you much caring. Thank you for honesty and wishing you all the most wonderful positive caring.
irregularity can be pre-menopausal thing, but suspect you know that. Hormones run crazy sometimes. Expect you have discussed with your doc and everything else. PCOS is sneaky and weird.
I’m so sorry you went through this! The pregnancy scare, and the long road to become a mama of two, with all its traumas. Thanks for writing and sharing this. I’m not as clear that I never want to be pregnant again but my age and other life factors make it impractical and improbable. Ah well, I feel blessed with Ellie.