There is a story CNN did on this young pastor and his wife who live in Iowa. They decide they want to adopt and heard about this thing called embryo adoption. They decided to look into it further. They learned that when a couple goes through IVF, many times they have leftover embryos that they “don’t want to just throw away.” So there is this thing where you can adopt those poor little embryos. They cheered, found a couple in Alaska, filled out the paperwork, and Fed-ex’d their little frozen baybees to them.
They implanted two embryos, since many frozen ones don’t survive. Surprise! Two heartbeats! No wait… THREE! One of the embryos split. They are now pregnant with triplets.
This couple also has three biological children at home. There were no medical bills, no punctured, scarred stomachs, no fear that there will be no children.
I’m not knocking them. Really, I’m not. I’m glad CNN did a story on embryo adoption. Do I want to roll my eyes and shake my head at the fact that this is clearly a richly fertile pastor’s wife? Ok, so you have three beautiful children who all were conceived in three consecutive romps in the sack, and you want to adopt more. Awesome. No one is going to fault you for that.
But this story made me wince when the reporter stated that many couples who go through IVF have “leftover embryos they don’t want to just throw away.” Down swoops the Man of God and his pretty wife to rescue those little children that we infertiles have abandoned while we play peek-a-boo with our IVF infants.
Also, “implanted?” You mean, “transferred,” right? Because those embryos don’t burrow in tight to the uterus with the help of science. It’s called a Frozen Embryo Transfer.
Also, according to this story, fertile pastor’s wives clearly end up with All Of The Baybees when they do an FET. Meanwhile, we infertiles are hoping and praying that those two frosties we transferred will HOPEFULLY end up with even one. Because this just reiterates to the general public that fertility treatments make you end up like this:
Really, I’m not knocking them. All I’m going to say about this story is that it is just interesting.
That’s all.
Really.
UGH- I can't stand the media.
After my retrieval I remember being in an absolute panic about the "leftover" embryos (6 of them!) and what we would do with them. After much stressing, we decided if there were any left when we felt our family was complete, we'd give them up for embryo adoption. But MY OH MY how the tables have turned… I'll be lucky if I get to have ONE of them, and I sure as hell won't have any leftovers, thankyouverymcuh.
Funny how when you worry about the future, you usually end up being so damn wrong about everything. At least that's how it's been for me.
I saw this same thing! I am still working through my feelings about all this. I had the same gut reactions as you did. And I have a lot of thoughts like.. I mean… they aren't adopting children in need, so are they wanting credit for being heroic adoptive parents? I mean this seems pretty transparent to me. They wanted more kids. So, if they wanted more children, why didn't they just have more? If they wanted to adopt, why didn't they just actually adopt a child who needed a home? Embryos aren't in need. I mean…. this is weird. And yeah, do the story on an actual couple who failed to have eggs fertilize during the IVF process or something… not these gomers.
Would have been nice if they talked about embryo adoption in terms of an an infertile couple adopting them. Sigh.
Yup. I'm still digesting this story. I saw it this morning. And I had quite a few moments of – cringe.
That's nice! Stories like this are not the kind of awareness we need! And what doctor in his/her right mind would transfer any, much less 2, embryos into a fertile woman!
That's nice! Stories like this are not the kind of awareness we need! And what doctor in his/her right mind would transfer any, much less 2, embryos into a fertile woman!
"Interesting" indeed! I totally agree with Jen's comment. It just sort of ruins the whole embryo adoption option by making the story about a couple who is not even infertile!!! Ahhh!!
Wow. Good for them for being fertile myrtles, but it would have been nice to hear the story from an infertile's perspective.
I love how they think that there's just thousands of embryos sitting around that people can't wait to throw out. In Canada at least, there are tons of embryos in labs but there is no program in place for embryo adoption, and our laws here make it illegal to pay for genetic material so even getting an embryo adoption started is taking a chance that you'll fall afoul of the law somewhere. Something that really needs to change!
Adding to that story, Jimmy Kimmel and Hus wife had a baby girl via a surrogate and we hear how more celebs are doing this, I'm not denying their struggles, but when your daily take home pay covers the $100K plus costs, sorry I can't relate. And aren't there more actual living kids in foster care that the pastor and his wife could have adopted, rather than "rescuing" some frozen embies?
Maybe I'm jaded, but I'm totally and completely rolling my eyes…because of course that they would transfer two frozen embryos and end up with 3 babies. Nevermind that fact that some of us just want one! If they had the money to go through with embryo adoption, why not "gift" them to a family who has literally exhausted their savings and maxed out credit cards in hopes of having one …or one more baby. Just sayin'!!
@ Ann Foster – I had the same thought, how amazing if they funded someone else's embryo adoption, that would be a story worth reporting, but CNN is such a shitty network. How many infertile couples pursue embryo adoption every day after failing multiple treatments and mourning the loss of biological children? That's the real story
Can't comment. Too pissed.
*Jimmy Fallon -not Jimmy Kimmel*
Sigh. Yet another example of how much the media sensationalizes infertility.
On that note, since you're not knocking them, can I?
Well said!!! We adopted CHILDREN from China who were here and really in need of a family!!
YES!!!!
Always they try to find a way to crucify the infertile people for using the scientific methods available.
This story is the most ridonkulous thing I have heard so far this week. There are tons of kids in foster care that need adopting but yet they take away embryos that an infertile person could have possibly used to have their miracle baby? Ugh. I just can't.
TOTALLY agreed! This makes me just say "ugh!". I completely dito Ann's comment! If they have all this money and feel like they should help out the "leftover" embryos then they should contribute to an infertile couple. I think that is a great idea. And yes they should have done the story on an infertile couple (although the story was probably done because of the splitting of one of the embryos and because he is a pastor). And yes there are kids actually suffering through the system of foster care that just want a forever home, so why not them if they want to adopt or help out? I could go on and on… And I cannot stand when people use the word "implant"!! If only it were that easy.
Gross. Aaand now I wait for my family to start suggesting we "Just get some of them frozen thingamjiggies like those nice Christian people on TV!," their advice that we "just relax" and reminders that we "can always adopt!" no longer feeling sufficient in the face of such glorious miracles.
Exactly! For my first IVF, I was all high and mighty, saying, "We are going to transfer two and freeze the rest." Ha. I had one normal embryo. One.
I know. It's almost like it was a cool new gadget that came out or something, and he had to try it out. It's weird indeed. And yes, Lurker, children are HERE!
I know, I wish they would have. It's disappointing.
It is strange that a doctor did that. I guess I never heard of them NOT, but you would think it would be.. frowned upon? Is that the word?
Agreed! I was like, "Come on already!"
Yep!
Wow, that's really interesting. I had no idea. I mean, I like the idea for sure. But it's like adopting children, it's so difficult, fertiles should leave those babies to those who actually would like them.
I always think of those two are one in the same 🙂 And you are right, would be nice to have those bills paid off, and have many children. 🙁
Ha ha YES! Yes, yes, yes.
No kidding. I wish they would have done it on an actual infertile couple.
Ha ha! Sure can, Cristy 🙂 I was trying to be politically correct thinking I was the only one feeling this way about this story… 🙂
Best. Comment. Ever.
I read this at work and was laughing my head off. Alone, where no one could hear my shrieks of course….
This story irks me to the bone. You already have 3 kids, and felt like you were somehow helping the world by adopting 3 embies? I just have to agree with everyone's comments!
Ditto to Annie…Love the random family/friends advice. "My sister's, best friend's, aunt's, cousin twice removed tried such and such, I'm sure that would work for you." My fave came from my aunt who said "how long will you do all 'this stuff' until you 'just adopt'?" Right, cuz I like spending thousands of dollars out of my pocket to try and have a child of my own…It's a real hobby of mine.
Corkandstork, my thoughts exactly! This is a little weird to me. There are so many couples out there that would love to embryo adopt, that can't have children of their own. Yet there are so many children already born that are in need of a good home.
I really like Ann's point about gifting the money to another couple. Good call.
And yeah, I have mixed feelings about this. Adoption is fabulous…any kind of adoption. But I wish there were more stories about infertile couples doing the same thing this fertile couple did.