Back in the stirrups

Ladies of the blogosphere! I’m BACK! After an atrocious few weeks at work learning to adjust to be the most senior nurse at my clinic at seven months, and the internet/cable outage at my house for the past four days, I am glad to be back on here. I started hyperventilating when I saw all the blogs I missed reading, and started feeling like a turd, but it looks like y’all suck at reading blogs too, so we’re pretty much even.

So there.

Where am I at this cycle?  Well, no period to speak of.  Apparently this miscarriage messed my body up, and now everyone in there is all confused about when they’re supposed to start bleeding.  I don’t know what this means for when we start up our next cycle for IVF.  Sure would have been nice if my clinic would have shared this bit with me after my miscarriage.

We are in the process of applying for Attain.  I had to get bloodwork done, including the required AMH, anti-mullerian hormone, for Attain’s program, or as I like to call it, “Measuring Risa for old-ass eggs.” That’s right.  We are conferencing with our doctor on August 22nd, but it seems we are taking the approach for the possibility of old-wheezy eggs.  Is this the cause of two of my three embryos being “abnormal?” Of my chemical pregnancy?

We are also doing ICSI (intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection) with the embryos this time around.  What’s that you say? It’s a process where the embryologist selects the best sperm out of the sample and injects a single sperm into each egg after the retrieval, rather than dumping eggs and sperm into a petri-dish and turning on some Barry White.

I know I have seen some crazy things done to my body, so it’s a little late for thinking this ICSI is “weird,” but it still makes me shake my head in disbelief at the wonders of science.  Eggs not fertilizing the way you want?  Well, stand back. We are making this fucking egg fertilize!  Sperm not wanting to swim to the egg properly? Well, screw you Mother Nature!  We gonna take a needle and FORCE that mutha-fucka in there!

Isn’t baby-making romantic?

Thanks to everyone who volunteered to share their stories on my blog.  I’m finally in the process of going through the posts and will be starting to post them tomorrow.

Looking forward to catching up on your lives!

21 Comments

  1. August 11, 2013 / 5:23 pm

    Welcome back! I have been looking into the Attain program also. Really I have just read what you can find online. I have a consultation with my Dr. on the 20th and I plan to grill her about it!

  2. August 11, 2013 / 5:35 pm

    welcome back, friend. i've been thinking about ya quite a bit!

  3. August 11, 2013 / 6:41 pm

    Welcome back. It is pretty weird to think about it; lately I've been thinking about frozen sperm/embryo, at one point, your baby might have been frozen. How weird.
    Can't wait to read some of the posts 🙂

  4. August 11, 2013 / 8:12 pm

    Glad you're back!!

  5. August 11, 2013 / 9:37 pm

    LOLing at the image of a candle-lit lab, with some Barry White playing around a bunch of petri dishes. Not to pop your bubble, but just cause they do ICSI doesn't mean fertilization. We only had 50% even with ICSI. BUT hopefully it will be better for you, and you don't find out you have old ass eggs. Even if you do, you're in good company (i.e. ME!) so you're joining the cool kids club. NOT. 🙂 Glad to have you back.

  6. August 12, 2013 / 8:22 am

    After my miscarriage last summer it took months for my cycle to return to normal too…but I had the opposite problem where I wouldn't STOP bleeding – like a reverse period essentially where I would have 5ish days off a month otherwise I was losing blood like a murder victim. Too far? Well I felt like a piece of me had been murdered, so there.

    Good luck with your next step; many prayers for you, Chris, and your baby!

  7. August 12, 2013 / 8:23 am

    So happy to see you blogging again.

    Very excited to see you going forward with Attain. Fingers crossed that the ICSI will be just what you need for a successful cycle 🙂

  8. August 12, 2013 / 3:31 pm

    The IVF cycle where we finally used ICSI is the one I got pregnant. May that be the same for you when your cycle gets worked out.

  9. August 12, 2013 / 3:34 pm

    baby making is about as romantic as having one so its great that youre accustomed to it now 🙂
    i hope the ICSI will work out being its so specific!

  10. August 12, 2013 / 5:32 pm

    Now you can tell your future children they were the chosen ones, of millions, so they better eat their veggies and take care of their expensive little selves!!

  11. August 12, 2013 / 7:40 pm

    Welcome back! I must say, I have been sucky and spotty at reading blogs. I'll do good for a few days, and then life gets in the way, and I miss a few days. Of course, I haven't done much better at writing mine either!

    After my miscarriages, AF still made her monthly appearance on time. However, I still don't think things are right after this last one. I use to could tell the minute I was ovulating and could pinpoint right when AF was going to make her appearance. Well, not since our m/c in February. All my clues are screwed up, plus, I'm cramping throughout the month and major, bitching cramps when she does come to town.

  12. August 12, 2013 / 8:36 pm

    I'm still waiting, too! 6 weeks… it's right around the corner. The fact that commercials are making me cry and I've been inhaling chocolate proves… something? Depression? Hormones? Impending AF? Something!

  13. August 12, 2013 / 9:54 pm

    We are doing ICSI as well next month and I LOVE that idea of pressuring our future children that they were LITERALLY the chosen ones. hahaa, good one!

  14. August 12, 2013 / 10:06 pm

    ICSI club, ICSI club!!! We have known for years that ICSI was our only option and it has been this far off mystery miracle maker in our heads for so long- SO grateful this technology exists for us- we feel so lucky to even have the chance at it! Very excited to start this process next month- Looking forward to discussing this shared experience!

  15. August 14, 2013 / 7:49 pm

    the whole process is so not romantic. maybe they should play some barry white while they do the transfer, make us feel like it's not so clinical.

  16. August 19, 2013 / 5:40 am

    Good to see you back Risa! I really hope you get approved for the Attain program. We tried, but…. We are too old with old ass eggs. We did ICSI with each of our cycles. There is still no gaurantee, but it sure makes a heck of a lot of sense to get the extra "help" since you are going through the whole process anyway. I wish you the best, friend, and hope AF makes her arrival in a timely manner.

  17. August 24, 2013 / 8:28 pm

    Hope your consult went well. Anxious to hear about it. Sure hoping you qualify for Attain.

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