Well I am currently reading my 50th book for 2013. I just read 50 Shades of Grey. My God. What a terrible book. I wish I had her life. A breathtakingly beautiful man who could give me multiple orgasms just by looking at me, and who forces me to eat more. Instead, I get the normal orgasms that have to be worked for gawd and a husband who looks at me strangely as I stuff the fifth piece of pizza into my mouth.
Infertility treatments got me feeling boxed in. Just like this doorframe.
I’m fat you guys. And not in the way of I’m feeling really chubby so everyone tell me how cute and skinny I look, but rather, hey guys I just tried on the biggest size of jeans in the store before plus size and oh noes, they’re a bit snug. It’s been cold out, like in the negatives, and we gave up our gym membership because we think being fat and having babies is better than being in shape and surrounding ourselves with a plethora of cats. So exercising has been a bit of a challenge. Not to mention my continued heinous eating habits.
I am actually dictating this post with this free software program that Chris found for me on the laptop. I sustained quite the hand injury during the month of November writing my novel. Unfortunately, my job involves typing all day long on the computer, and apparently adding on typing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days was a bit too much for my hand. So yes as of right now I am speaking out loud watching the words type on the screen. Do you know how awkward it is to say the word “orgasm” alone in your house at the computer? Well, I no longer have to wonder.
This morning we had our nurse consult for IVF #3. I am about three days into birth control pills and my steroid, dexamethasone. Apparently the steroid is thought to increase egg quality. The nurse told us that my doctor is throwing whatever he can at us to get these babies growing. This cycle I am only going to be on 150 units of Menopur in the morning and 300 units of Follistim at night. When my follicles reach 14 mm, I’m going to start an antagonist, which is another subcutaneous shot that is going to prevent the eggs from ovulating and give the follicles a chance to get bigger. She said this is a good protocol and there’s no reason for me to think that it’s not going to work. So I’m feeling much better about the cycle after talking to her. The whole donor egg thing has been difficult to process and right now I’m going to focus on my own eggs. Chris and I had to have blood work for STD testing. Our last one was in June and it expired today. It’s kind of depressing when you think about it. I mean with the one IVF, the miscarriage, and the second IVF, I have hardly had the time to hit the bars and cheat on my husband. Who do they think I am?
While I'm reading your post I'm stuffing my face with an enormous chocolate bar, and continually promising that after Christmas I'll start running again. So there's that. I really hope this IVF round works for you. I'm thinking good thoughts for your eggs! (and for a clean STD test, cuz that's always a good thing…)
Wahoo!! Nothing is wrong with a little fluff around the middle 🙂 I'm on BCP pill #2 and also dex. Thinking of you guys!!
Ugh, girl I'm in that club too…none of my pants fit and as much as I'd like to believe its cause I'm almost 9 weeks pg, the sad truth is its just cause I'm fat. I just looked through pictures from a year and two years ago and holy god, who was that fit and toned hottie??? So depressing. Thanks infertility.
The software sounds so cool! I love picturing you saying orgasm all alone in your house! Hoping the new protocol is effective!
I also am in the group of biggest pants before plus size. I seem to lose the weight and then I start a new cycle with stims and it creeps back. I am so hopeful for you Risa and sending all the best wishes your direction!
I so can relate. It doesn't even matter if I work out regularly…the pants keep getting bigger. Sigh. I tell myself I am creating an extra cozy place for our soon to be baby.
I will be sending you positive vibes for this cycle and new protocol. I so want this to happen for you!!!
Ha ha now I want chocolate! And yes the clean STD test is what I'm shooting for!
We are really close in our cycles! How is the dexamethasone making you feel? I am on my third day of killer headaches and I'm pretty sure it's due to the steroids.
I know, and look at the pictures from a few years ago when I thought it was fat. I would give anything to look like that again.
I know it's really convenient. I should say all sorts of awkward words before my husband gets home from work and see how it makes me feel 🙂
Thanks my dear!
That's a good way to look at Sarah. I'll keep telling myself that!
Yesterday i realised i no longer fit into my nice interview pants, so i ate a bag of crisps -.-
Third times a charm xx
I am currently eating a giant bag of minieggs, so don't feel too badly about that fifth piece of pizza. And I agree 50 Shades of Grey was awful- bad writing, ridiculous characters… yet for some reason, I read the whole series. It's like watching a train wreck- you don't want to look, but can't help yourself.
Best of luck this time around, Risa… I'll say a little prayer for you. 🙂
We actually asked our RE's assistant (when she was giving us our new STD bloodwork requisitions, which we've now done three times already) whether or not she's ever seen anyone be surprised by a positive result coming back when they previously had negatives on everything. She just gave us this weird little smile and nod…so apparently it happens!
I had to switch to taking it in the morning because I had god awful insomnia from it. Ohh and I want to eat.everything! We are close I go Monday for my SIS and trial transfer and we go from there!
Best of luck with the new protocol! Hoping for you.
I'll confess here that I quit reading 50 Shades of Grey near the start of the third book because (spoiler alert) I heard somewhere that they were going to get "oops" pregnant. While I'm trying hard not to be judgmental of real people, I don't feel that compunction about fictional characters…and Ana and Grey barely function as actual grown-ups. It just made me so mad that I decided I'd be better off to quit reading. And yep, with everyone else here – terrible writing.
Also, hope your hand gets better!
Huge props to you for getting through 50 Shades. I couldn't get past the second page!
Despite my crappy commenting lately, I've been trying my best to keep up and I'm sending you ALL the good thoughts for IVF #3. I believe in your eggs!
Good luck on IVF #3. I hope the 3rd times the charm! It was for me. I was also on an antagonist protocol. I was never given steroids, but I did have human growth hormone in the middle of stimming. I hope they have finally found the right protocol for you. Sending positive thoughts.
I'm hoping this protocol dose the trick! I've had a few positive Chlamydia tests on some newly pregnant patients, and I asked the staff at my RE's office the same question as Amaris and received "more often than you would think…" as an answer. You're right though, who has time for an affair?
Praying that IVF #3 is the lucky one!!! XOXO
I am so impressed with how much you have read! And you have already met your goal. I can't believe your STD screen was one day expired-so frustrating! Hope this cycle will be the perfect one for you guys!
Woo hoo! Such exciting news! I'm 6 days into BCPs… do you know when you're starting meds?
I'm excited for you Risa! The protocol change sounds great, and I'm hopeful that this will be a better retrieval! Good luck to you!
First paragraph had me laughing out loud. I can so sympathize.
Thinking of you girl!!!
Ooh, good luck to you. Fingers crossed.
Every single one of my IVFs was done with semen that was extracted and frozen at the same time as my husband's (unsuccessful) vasectomy reveral was done. And they still required the STD tests be current for him, even years and years later. So silly.
I think it would be awkward to say everything out loud and watch it type out across the screen, but kind of cool at the same time! I am so crossing my fingers, hoping, and praying for a successful cycle this to round.
Fingers crossed that the third time will be charm! We start the IVF process once AF arrives this month – hoping for ET sometime at the end of January 🙂
Fingers crossed that #3 is a winner winner!
Best of luck to you with IVF#3! I am new to the IF-blog world…currently 11 days into the 2WW of IUI#4. If this one fails we will move to IVF. I'm grateful to find other women who are on this journey and know what it's like. I hear ya on the weight gain – hormones and stress and sub-q shots, oh my! I need to get new slacks for work and jeans for weekends that won't have the big ol' muffin top…just been putting it off because I was so desperately hoping to be shopping the maternity section. Sigh. FX for you, hope third time is your charm!
I read this the day you posted it and am just getting around to commenting now…pathetic. But I really loved this post. So, so funny.
And also, I think your protocol sounds great. I've got lots of hope.
Been thinking about you! Happy New Year!