This month has been a blur in more ways than one. The girls have a week left of school and this time home with just Chris and me with the baby has been so nice. The girls love their brother, but it’s been pretty intense at times. Emelia, while she loves her brother more than life, has been throwing some wicked tantrums. It’s exhausting on another level having a newborn along with two other (high-energy) kids.
I don’t want to say I’m dreading this summer with the girls home with us, because that sounds terrible and I love them dearly, but having them in the evening and on weekends can be pretty tiring. And I’m only a month postpartum, so I know that has a lot to do with it. In fact, the first two weeks were the roughest because my body was still on a rollercoaster of hormones and emotions, I’m nursing and pumping around the clock, and I have a baby that needs me, but two other girls who needs lots of attention too.
It’s going to get better and we’re slowly getting into a routine, but in a week everything is going to change with having all of us under one roof for the summer.
But that makes me all the more thankful that Chris has off for paternity leave. His company gives 18 weeks of paid lead for all parents, no matter who gave birth, and this was extended when he agreed to work Fridays from home starting two weeks ago. By the time he goes back to full time, it will be mid-October, something unheard of in the United States.
We’ve been filling our days with a daily walk, occasional naps, lots of TV and projects Chris has been keeping busy with around the house. You’d think it would get dull quickly, but the days pass by so quickly I can’t believe it when it’s 4:30 and it’s time to pick the girls up.
Stats
Nicknames: Little Man, Austie, Buddy (Emelia’s self-proclaimed nickname for him)
Weight: 8 lbs, 7 oz
Length: No idea, the clinic gives us measurements that are less than when he was born.
Diaper size: Newborn
Clothing size: Newborn
Eating
We went home from the hospital with donor milk that we purchased from a milk bank. $80 worth of milk and by Friday afternoon, our first official day home, we discussed if Chris needed to go buy more for the weekend, since I was pumping and my milk was slowly coming in, but we were still falling short. However, by that evening, I officially pumped my first 35 mL, catching up to exactly what we were giving him. My milk came in that night and we were good to go, not even needing to use the last two bottles of donor milk.
I pumped every 2 to 3 hours around the clock, so reminiscent of when we brought Emelia home. There were times I’d catch myself going, God I hate this, but then would have to stop and catch myself. I don’t know how long I’m going to need to do this, I’d tell myself, so I can’t start getting annoyed with it now.
I mean, if things don’t work out, and I have to be an exclusive pumper, I’ll do it. I’m lucky enough to get to work from home, so the logistics, while they would suck, are feasible. But I can’t start resenting it or things are just going to be miserable.
Hopefully, though, we can get to that place where we can exclusively nurse.
Because bottles, man the bottles. With Olivia, she hated bottles. I had a bunch of sample bottles we worked through and the times she needed to use them for when my parents were watching her, she’d reluctantly take them. Emelia, while she was exclusivly bottle-fed for the first weeks of life, grew to not really jive with bottles either, though luckily we just stuck with the medela bottles and nipples.
With Austin, I’m so worried about nipple confusion and was finding both Chris and myself googling the best bottles for breastfed babies. We had exactly one nipple from the hospital and the Medela nipples we ordered on Amazon were not in fact slow flow nipples despite their name. We bought 2 of the insanely expensive Comotomo bottles when he was a week and a half old, and while he drank from them they were the most annoying things we ever used. The lactation nurse was like, yeah, those things suck and recommended ones that actually mimicked a breast.
Which is how we ended up with the Avent bottles with these other, expensive nipples that were actually slow flow. And we hit the jackpot and he takes them just fine, while also still being delighted to nurse.
Truth be told, I have no idea how much he’s actually taking in when he nurses. There are times more recently when he actually seems satisfied after a session and would fall asleep after. But then there are plenty of times where I don’t think he’s really getting anything and either doesn’t latch well, or keeps slipping off.
I keep being told by his nurse practitioner, by the chiropractor, by lactation, by my doula that he just needs time. That he’s still learning and his mouth is small and sort of tight and we’ll get there.
But I’m not totally convinced there isn’t something more going on. I saw the lactation consultant, who I saw with Emelia when she got out of the NICU, on May 9th, when he was 2 weeks old. She looked him over, assessed the tongue tie he has, but determined it didn’t qualify for a revision. He also has a lip tie, which she said may need to be addressed, but maybe not. She watched him nurse and noted that he just needed to build strength and grow a bit. She gave me a bunch of useful information for me to take home, and I’m just patiently waiting to see if things get better.
I’m not doing any nursing at night. The lactation nurse had suggested that once he gets better at nursing consistently during the day, I can try replacing pumping sessions with nursing gradually, starting with the last pump of the night, and then the first early morning pump. It’s taken a lot of pressure off me and let’s me focus on just getting better at nursing while I’m awake and mostly cognizant.
Sleeping
His first few nights at home were pretty rough. Our first night home, on Thursday April 27, we were up quite a bit with him fussing. The next night was the worst. He wouldn’t settle, even with Chris walking him around the living room. By 3:00 am, I told Chris to let me take him, stripped my shirt off, took Austin’s sleeper off, and lay skin to skin with him on my chest on the couch. Chris went to sleep for an hour while I stretched out on the couch with either my eyes closed resting or looking at my phone, trying not to cry.
But since then, he’s getting the hang of things. I definitely think he was getting his days and nights mixed up, so after that night, we really aimed to keep the curtains open, not letting him sleep for more than 2 to 3 hours at a time, and making lots of eye contact during the day when he was awake.
While initially he was waking every 2 to 3 hours, that eventually stretched out to doing a 5 to 6 hour stretch, and then every 2 to 3 hours until morning. A few days ago, we started putting him down to sleep for the night in his crib around 8:00 pm, seeing how long he’d make it before his first wakeup. When it was time for us to go to bed, we’d gingerly pick him up and carry him to the bedside bassinet in our room. I was missing my usual routine of crocheting while watching TV with Chris, and Austin actually did really well with it. At first, we woke him for a dream feed before we went to bed, but then stopped that and he’s been sleeping until 1 or 2 in the morning.
It’s funny because I swear he’s the quietest sleeper of all my babies. Emelia was by far the noisiest. But Austin, once he settles, is pretty quiet, meaning I get to sleep more, even though I’m pumping at night out in the living room while Chris feeds him a bottle.
Milestones
Austin is a champ at lifting his head when he’s on tummy time or on our chests. When his eyes are open, he loves making eye contact with us.
He also loves moving his arms and. All. The. Time. He was SO active inside me and now when I watch him dance around kicking and waving, I’m reminded of how he felt inside me.
Personality
Oh, he’s just the sweetest thing. While I do consider him to cry a lot, he’s a relatively easygoing baby, even if he’s a bit on the dramatic side.
I take that back. He’s dramatic. Way more dramatic than his sisters, and I hope that’s not a sign of things to come. But from his first day Earthside, he’s been quick to just wail his complaints and goes around with a perpetual frown/deeply concerned look on his face.
When I was in the hospital with him, after several hours of his crying for no reason, I said to Chris, “He just seems like a very unhappy baby.”
But I take that back. Being born, especially lightning quick like he was, would make anyone a little cranky, and I need to give him a little credit.
I’ve noticed, even at a month old, it’s more challenging to get him to settle, especially if I want to do skin-to-skin with him on my chest. But once he’s settled, he’s the snuggliest baby.
Health
We brought him to his first chiropractor appointment when he was two weeks old. She thought he was doing well, but his neck is tight on his right side, causing him to favor his left side. I have no clue why all three of my kids had this, but the chiropractor said if we stayed on top of the adjustments, we can hopefully avoid a torticollis diagnosis. She said it could be how my uterus is shaped that caused all three kids to have neck tightness issues, but hopefully we can avoid physical therapy for Austin.
He got his first bath at a week old, which he was confused about, but did well for.
I haven’t noticed any reflux, but he’s definitely gassy, which is probably due to his nursing and bottle feeding and the fact that I keep hearing these clicks when he’s latching. We give gas drops quite a bit at night, but he doesn’t seem to need them much during the day. We have noticed he loves to poop, or try to poop, between the hours of 4 and 6 am, leading to less sleep for all of us. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I would say he was constipated. Which is strange, because it isn’t common in breastfed babies. I’ve been doing tummy massages and tummy time, and inversion therapy on him and those seem to help a little.
Likes
Nursing, bath time with me, being held, looking at his sisters, diaper changes.
Dislikes
Being dressed, gas pain, sitting at the table with us in his infant high chair, tummy time.
Undecided about
His car seat, his bouncer, pacifiers.
Looking forward to
More sleep. Does that count? Hopefully more nursing. And of course the summer without many obligations.
