This has been my best week of symptoms so far. True, I’m still on my anti-nausea medications, but at least I don’t feel quite like Death anymore. I’m slowly getting over the exhaustion and I’m not as gaggy, though I still have my moments.
We spent my first day of 16 weeks putting up the tree and Christmas decorations. I don’t want to say I necessarily had the energy for it, but somehow we got it done.
However, I’m still sick. Getting over it for sure, but still a bit stuffed up. And sneezing. And the dust from the Christmas tree and decorations was not helping. Even despite wearing pads, I still managed to sneeze through FOUR pairs of pants. In fact, I had to throw in a load of laundry because I don’t have that many maternity or comfy pants.
In better news, Olivia is learning how to chain in crochet at school. Her teacher knows how, but she said this was another student that was teaching her.
And of course, I’m so proud of her because I’m left-handed and can’t figure out how to actually teach my right-handed daughter.
I filled out the forms to work with my doula again. It’s on my to-do list to go back to the Hypnobabies online course and start the meditations. Not only will it probably help with my blood pressure to meditate daily, but I have no idea when this baby is coming and last time when Emelia came early, I didn’t feel fully ready for a medication-free birth using only hypnotism. So I intend to start the class earlier.
However, with my gradually increasing energy levels, I’m also feeling more motivated to work and take on more assignments.
This week I pulled out the old doppler I used with both other pregnancies. I wasn’t even sure if it was going to work and I know it’s not the highest quality one to begin with, but after ten minutes or so of trying, I gave up. My stomach was sore and the anterior placenta doesn’t help.
I’m still not feeling a ton of baby movements, but there was one night this week when Olivia was talking to Pokemon right by my stomach and I definitely felt a good baby movement. I told her and she was delighted.
Speaking of Pokemon, I’ve been starting to get my crojo back. Up until now, I have had zero desire to crochet in the evenings, something I’ve done almost every single night for the last 2.5 years.
I actually brought it up with my therapist later in my first trimester, asking her if I was depressed. I told her I’d felt the symptoms of depression before and am very familiar with it, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was really going on now.
One of the symptoms is a disinterest in things you used to enjoy doing.
“I can’t figure out if this disinterest is due to depression since I stopped my antidepressants when I found out I was pregnant, or if this is just a weird pregnancy thing.”
She told me in her opinion, this wasn’t depression. This was just a reaction to everything I have going on. Which was a relief to hear. I’m still carrying around the Zoloft script my OB wrote for me in my wallet, but haven’t wanted to go on it. I’m grateful my therapist doesn’t think I’m at that point.
Anyway, I made Olivia (at her request) a Pokeball hat and matching pouch. Emelia wanted to take a photo with them too, so I think I’m going to have to make her a hat too.
16 week OB appointment
I had an OB check on Thursday. I was supposed to see my doctor, but the clinic called me that morning and said he was at a birth, so I scheduled with my favorite PA. I’m still getting over my virus, so I donned a mask, even though I think I should probably do this at every appointment from now with so much sickness going around and the fact that literally no one else in the entire clinic – staff, providers, or patients – wear one.
I found out I lost two pounds in this pregnancy so far. I guess clearly I’m not eating much even if it’s mostly carbs and high-fat foods.
Even without any time to rest in the room before seeing the provider, my blood pressure was 135/83. Which surprised me. I’ve been having headaches off and on for the last few weeks and honestly thought it was going to be higher and I would have to increase my medication.
The last few days I had been doing some thinking about my blood pressure meds. I’ve been on labetalol for both other pregnancies, and I can’t remember the doses I left off on, but I do remember the labetalol had basically stopped working postpartum. As in, they were working through pregnancy until my pressures started creeping up, and then I became preeclamptic both times. And both times postpartum, they didn’t do shit to control my blood pressure.
In fact, with Olivia, after constantly battling faceless on-call doctors including the internist who really didn’t give a shit and barely saw me in the hospital, I finally cracked when he wanted to just increase my labetalol yet again with my sky-high pressures even though it wasn’t doing a damn thing. It was actually one of my proudest moments in life which is pretty fucking sad, but it was one of the first times I planted my feet (Figuratively. I wasn’t allowed out of my hospital bed) and said no. No, I’m sorry Nurse, but you can call that asshole back and tell him I’m refusing and he will try something else. And SQUEE! what do you know? My blood pressure stabilized on some other medication and that following evening I was discharged.
With Emelia’s birth, the same thing started happening postpartum and my doctor increased it once and again, it wasn’t doing anything. I specifically remember him visiting me in the NICU, planting himself next to me, and listening to me as I told him what had happened with Olivia and how it took six days to stabilize me. He immediately changed my protocol and my blood pressures were great after that.
One of those medications was nifedipine, or Procardia. And in everything I was reading about labetalol, while it is effective in many pregnant people, it can also cause intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). I was monitored for it in both pregnancies in my third trimesters and it never happened, but of course, I was wondering this time around, if maybe I could just eliminate that possibility. I know it can still be a result of preeclampsia and high blood pressure regardless, but maybe getting rid of one factor will improve my odds. I don’t know. That’s my thinking. And I was really hoping to be able to talk with my doctor about it, but once again, I couldn’t see him. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since my initial visit at 7 weeks.
To make matters worse… my PA had a PA student.
And jgoijr90tfojg;eriogjdsoiatjiofjd;diojo;r.
This was the last thing I wanted. Being left in the room with a student having to explain my thoughts on the blood pressure med thing and her, well, being a student. Son of a bitch. Well, then she needed to leave the room and consult with my PA which took forever, and then my PA came back and I basically had to rehash everything again.
In the end, while I really would have preferred my MD’s advice on this, she said I could switch to Procardia after weaning from the labetalol for two days. I’m fine with the plan since it worked so well for me postpartum in the past, and now I had to wait for my insurance to approve it before the pharmacy can fill it.
Emelia and I went out with my parents to breakfast the next day.
Oh, and Olivia got her first yellow stripe on her white belt this morning.
