It didn’t work. We had an ovulation, a great sperm count injected into my uterus, with a little progesterone in there to maintain my lining. And it didn’t work. I was SO sure it would work.
I started spotting last night and thought that was weird. This morning I woke up with a little more spotting. I was feeling pretty hopeful, because I thought this could mean implantation bleeding. I also thought that since I was on progesterone, I wouldn’t get my period.
I had my beta this morning before school and constantly kept checking my phone for them to call back. My heart sank when I went to the bathroom on break and saw more blood. Like, period blood. I was also having some cramping. I wasn’t feeling so hopeful after that.
I received a voicemail while I was in class and when we had a quick break, I ran out there to listen to it.
negative.negative.negative.
It was probably better for me to have to immediately go back to class.
When I called the nurse back later, I asked why I seemed to have my period if the progesterone was supposed to hold it back. Oh you’ll love this. Apparently, in some cases, your period can “breakthrough,” as she described it. Meaning, if Aunt Flo wants to come in, and you lock your doors and board the windows, she’ll break your fucking door down anyway. She’s a little bitch like that.
Baseline ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. I was going to try to take another day of progesterone to hold off my period like I did last month, to time out the doctor appointments where I miss the least amount of work possible. Silly me. When did I think I had control over any of this?
Hey Risa,
You don't know me. I found your blog on Stirrup Queens and have been following you since the start of this last IUI. I did go back and poke through some of your history. I love your posts, they are very open and honest.
I don't know if it's a little wired for you to think that someone you have never meet was thinking about you and hoping with all her might that this would work for you, but I was. Know that I feel for you. Take comfort in your Husband and the people around you that support you. And may you look back on this time and think of it as the times that made you a strong person.
Linda
I am so sorry! What a bitch Aunt Flo! Maybe if I talk enough crap about her, she'll quit coming around- 🙂
I just recently started following your blog, and I just wanted you to know that I'm so, so sorry this cycle didn't work. As someone who struggles with infertility, I know exactly how you feel. I hope your baseline appointment goes well.
So sorry! I know how bad that sucks!!!
Rosa, I'm sorry this sucks big time, but just because it didn't work this cycle doesn't mean it won't work at all! I've also tried to manipulate AF with the supplemental progesterone and it didn't work b/c she's a fucking little bitch! Sorry your apt on Wed will be inconvenient, but hoping you get good news!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I was really rooting for you. If it helps at all, AF "broke through" for me too after my failed IVF/converted IUI. It's like she's just this eager little bitch who can't wait to show you that she's still coming even after you've done your damndest to make her go away. Sorry this is happening.
I'm so so sorry!!!! I really wanted this for you. I'm sorry babe, just keep fighting.
So sorry!
I am so so sorry to hear this.
I'm so terribly sorry, Risa. AF is a horrible wicked witch. *hugs*
I'm so sorry this IUI didn't work. 🙁
Big, big sigh. I'm so sorry.
I've been lurking for about a month, thought I should come out of the shadows and say Hi. I had a cycle very much like this last year and it was probably the biggest let down of my IF experience. It is very hard to accept that *everything* can go right and there's still only a 20% chance that you will get pregnant :- Its a real bitch, no question. Good luck with the next cycle – hope springs anew!
Oh Risa, I'm so sorry! I posted on your previous post before reading this one. I know how horrible BFN's feel, and I know how heartbroken you are. Isn't it amazing though, how we can deal with this and move forward. I have my Beta this week and am scared to death of yet another BFN. We used all of our frozen embryos on this cycle so I'm not sure what will be next for us if this cycle is negative. Praying for you as you grieve this cycle and praying for a BFP in your next cycle!
This same thing happened to me at the start of my current cycle. I was so convinced it was implantation bleeding that I started to freak out when my bleeding got heavier. AF is a beeyotch like that. 🙁
I'm so sorry sweetie!
Thanks so much, Linda. Your comment made me cry. I appreciate it so much <3
Yeah, I say we all just start gossiping about her and make her cry.
Thanks Heather. It's so nice having so many know what I am going through!
Thanks Teresa. Maybe you will get some good news soon…
There is always next time I guess. I guess one GOOD thing is that I don't have the progesterone now for a few weeks.
Yep, pretty much!
Thanks 🙂 I just started following your blog!
Thanks Jen!
Thanks my dear.
She is, isn't she? Sigh.
Thanks Jenny. It just sucks going through so much and then… nothing.
Thanks, Emily. 🙁
Thanks for stopping by, though I wish it was for happier reasons. And you are right, it is hard to accept it. Argh!
Thanks Jenni. I am hoping you get your BFP too!
I know, it sucks. It's really hard to stay positive sometimes, because of all this.
🙁 Thanks, Jamie.