After our canceled IUI cycle in December, I felt hopeful coming back to our baseline ultrasound for our first successful IUI. We’ll show infertility who’s boss THIS TIME! we said. But even though it was a medicated cycle with Clomid, hCG trigger shot, and progesterone, it was still sex. And what have we learned from reading the Stork blog? That’s right kids. Sex doesn’t make baybees! Sex is fun. But Chris and Risa make love, not babies. Two different things. Got it?
So we felt hopeful coming into the next cycle. It was to be our first IUI, our first scientific attempt to create a baby. We were excited.
I get it. The normal couple only has a 20% chance of conceiving every month. It’s the miracle of life, yadi-yadi-ya. But this was supposed to be science! I feel like it was all just a giant waste of time. Well let’s be honest, in all reality, it was a waste of time. I layed (lied?) on my back for two days. I missed my sister’s bridal dress shopping. We even had sex a few hours AFTER our last IUI. I mean, cripes how much sperm does my body want? Unexplained infertility is horrible. There is just no reason for all this.
Coming into this cycle, I don’t care. I know we are doing two more rounds. I just feel like it’s not going to work. Call it a premonition or whatever. I just have this feeling. We’re doing IVF. I know we are. Is that negative thinking? I don’t think so. Or maybe it is just ranting of an extremely hormonal crazy infertile.
Baseline ultrasound showed four follicles on the right, and six on the left. I start Clomid tonight. I am literally jumping up and down in my excitement. Thank you all for your support from my last whiny blog post. I know I have said it before, but it means a lot. And thanks for putting up with my crap-tastic attitude.
We're all allowed out moments. Several even. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed, no matter what!
My co-worker also had unexplained infertility and her husband has a billion sperm, they conceived on their third IUI. Fingers crossed this cycle is your turn!
I'm so glad that you still feel excited about this next cycle. There are so many ups and downs in this process and it's hard to retain hope, but it sounds like you still have it…and you should.
Here from LFCA. I'm very sorry your first IUI didn't work. It's always disappointing and frustrating. One thing that helped me through was something another ALIer told me before I started IVF: with each step, you learn more and more about your body and what's happening. You now know your husband's sperm count looks great. And that you can respond to the medication. All good things. So hang in there. Unexplained infertility is such a sucky diagnosis, but I know from experience that the answers will eventually come. Fingers crossed for this next round!!
I'm really hoping IUI works for you and you don't have to do IVF. I don't think it's negative to think you'll have to do IVf. I think, emotionally, you are just preparing yourself for the possibility. Nothing wrong with that.
You are 100% correct infertility sucks, unexplained infertility really sucks! My RE never stopped looking for the cause of our, which is one reason I love him so much. It is very normal to have those negative feelings, especially after a failed cycle. I always feel it's a kind of self-preservation. Expect the worst, pray for the best and be really excited if the best comes your way! Praying for you in this next cycle!
To your comment about this being scientific; I totally felt the same way. When I was finally sent to an RE I thought, yes! now we are going to get somewhere, this guy has a fancy title and a swanky office, he for sure is going to figure out what the issue is. Then, after what felt like ever test under the sun, he came back, look us right in the eye and said "ummm yeah, I don't have an answer for you" I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in my life. I guess that's why it's called medical practice.
Still thinkin about ya and sending good thoughts your way.
You're right, Cristy, I need to keep telling myself that.
You are SO right! It's hard, because I just want them to figure it out already!