This year has been about a give and take. You risk one thing to help another. You give up something in order to do something else. I said yes to getting together with just my parents so they could see the kids and open presents with us. I said no to getting together with the rest of my family that was gathering. I loved seeing my parents on Christmas Eve. I cried on Christmas because they were getting together with both my sisters and my nephews and we were once again alone, just the four of us. All the sacrifices I’ve made this entire year was never to make me feel good about my decisions. As an RN, I knew I needed to do my part and be an example and I wanted to instill in Olivia that we need to do hard things for the good of others—even when almost everyone around us wasn’t making the same sacrifices.
Almost a week out from Christmas, I know I did the right thing, but it doesn’t make me feel satisfied, especially since most of those around me have continued business as usual and have remained healthy. But this isn’t a bitching about covid post, this is about our Christmas, but my point is that Christmas was good, and Christmas also just, well, sucked.
And I think that’s OK to say. Because in the noise of the internet it’s easy to find posts about family togetherness and love and spending time together. But the truth? Those people posting those things are just as sick of their family as I am. If they were following the rules. Because I love my husband. My kids are everything. Hello, have you seen how long it took for me to get them? But for all that is holy, I can get mighty sick of them.
Besides for presents, and a bigger lunch, it was another day. Another day of being in the house with nowhere to go and feeling suffocated by our walls. It didn’t help that we got snow dumped on us the evening before Christmas Eve and it got down into the single digits. Not good for a baby who gets frosted cheeks when it’s below 30 degrees.
Don’t get me wrong, I made Christmas magical for my girls, and I loved the joy on their faces when they opened their gifts, and Zoomed with Santa, and did all those magical things kids do around Christmas. But for me, it was like every other holiday this year. It sucked. I cried knowing my loved ones were having a way better holiday than I was because I was Crazy Pants who stuck with mandates and watched the covid numbers and my fellow nurse friends’ stress levels rise.
So if that’s you, if there’s anything in here I just said that you can nod along with, you’re not alone. And if you’re trying to pretend Christmas was awesome-sauce because that’s what you’re supposed to feel, but in reality, you cried and not from joy but from Jesus God let this fucking pandemic be over so I can feel normal and see people outside of my immediate family GASP!
You’re not alone.
We Zoom with Santa
Since Santa was not possible for us in person this year, we Zoomed. He was an amazing Santa that was recommended to us by a friend. I had emailed him all these little things about Olivia and he covered all of them in his call. Olivia was just on cloud nine and asked him a ton of questions. Her favorite answer was that carrots are fine to leave the reindeer on Christmas Eve, but it makes them toot, and they love apples. Of course, then she went on to us that we need to leave an apple for the reindeer because carrots make them TOOT MOM!! We also did the Christmas service from our living room.
A few days before Christmas, Olivia and Chris made frosted sugar cookies.
They also got to open matching Christmas pajamas.
So of course I had to take a million photos.
Christmas Eve
We opened presents on Christmas Eve morning as per my family’s tradition. Olivia got to read her letter Santa wrote back to her from the North Pole.
Reading her letter to Santa Her big kid art set Custom made for his race medals!
Olivia got a Frozen watch, Ninjago Legos, an art kit, some leggings, pajamas, and some books. Emelia got a Fisher Price baby nursery, books, a cash register, some musical toys, and both got new to us Lincoln Logs to share.
Emelia didn’t quite get the concept of opening presents, but luckily, her big sister was there and quite eager to step in and help. AKA, there was a lot of, “Olivia! Let your sister do it!”
My friend Celina made us all our own tumblers. The girls were stoked to get theirs. She’s going to be sending along an ice cream topper for Olivia’s mug which we’re so excited about. Olivia has no idea what this tumbler is going to end up looking like. Celina and I also designed and made a Dr. Who tumbler for Chris.
We got about nine inches of snow dumped on us overnight (I’m dreaming of a white Christmas!!!!!!) so while Chris was digging us out, I got the task of getting the three of us ready for my parents’ house. Not an easy feat when one is trying to tear on her tights while the other sits by my feet and screeches at the top of her lungs. So I was lucky to brush my hair, and hey! too bad I didn’t really want to wear makeup for the first time in six months anyway.
We did a small celebration with just my parents so we could open more presents. Emelia wore the sweater dress Olivia wore at her age.
I gave my mom her bonus present—a shawl I’ve worked on trying to finish up before Christmas. It’s my second one, the first went to my Auntie, so one of these days I’m actually going to make one for myself.
That evening, Olivia set out the plate of cookies and carrots and an apple (“Mom! Remember when Santa said the reindeer tooted?”) and Chris and I set up the stocking gifts later that night. Olivia has been asking for Elsa and Ana dolls, and I found this kitchen sink for Emelia that runs water out of a faucet.
Christmas Day
The babies were excited to see their stockings in the morning. “Mom, look! Santa brought you yarn because you like to crochet!”
We did a lunch of ham, au gratin potatoes, green bean casserole, and Chris’s baked bean family recipe.
Emelia ate every single baked bean and potato and promptly threw the rest on the floor.
We stayed in our pajamas the entire day. I’d like to say we got to relax together as a loving family, but in reality, Olivia was massively overstimulated with all the new toys and I lost my temper with her several times. There was no family gathering for us so there was nothing to distract the kids. But we made it. And we’re more than ready to say goodbye to this year. I would like to say how excited I am though about my new Lovitude mug from my Auntie (her incredibly talented business partner paints these) and my Harry Potter illustrated book.
I am probably the only one that will ask but, I am interested in the bean recipe!! I say that because both my family and Thad’s only ever request for me to make my famous baked beans..haha They call them famous not me! I literally just throw some stuff together and they think it is amazing so I’m curious about yours.
Bowen was way overstimulated as well…same same.
Author
That’s hilarious! I’ll email you. Care to share yours? 😉
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR CHRISTMAS! What a magnificent job you did making it a good Christmas for your children and doing so much for your parents. ALSO, congratulations on the very hard choice you made about staying home.
I was home alone. Normally it would be 6 of us, 4 adults, 2 children (I have 2 adult children each with 1 child). This time I talked to one family on the phone and did get to watch the other family on media call doing some gift opening. And I was so grateful. Because the one family had a positive test come back on 17th … 7 days after symptoms of ‘allergies’ started. Never a fever, no dry cough (at that time), no loss of smell/taste, but runny nose and then some crushing fatigue on about day 3 of that period. Spouse and that grand have now had 2 each negative tests so despite the exposure they won. They say about day 10 can have a terrible turning point. Oh yes. That time period was terrible, sick one was like a staggering zombie in appearance and could barely string 3 words into a sentence and putting 2 sentences together was close to impossible. I was looking at ICU availability and knowing that here the standard for admission was WAY higher than a few months ago (AKA Rationing space as so short) But then things began the slow haul of improvement. Sick one was able to participate in the great unwrapping (divided into 3 parts by needed naps). Sick one NOT hospitalized. Sick one almost sounds normal and can talk way more normally and looks super thin but not super sick.
So the first question is how did they get exposed? ANSWER: Family is totally risk avoidant; wash, social distance, stay off crowded streets (live in urban close quarters area), did not go into stores, masked even when running. Guesses are infection from being in space on street where someone had coughed and left virus in air that landed on mask or in eyes…. maybe touched mask/face afterwards. Unknowable. NO known exposure activities at all. Scary reality. I hope and trust you and your extended family were and are and will be totally safe. Believe me, even when your babies are older than you are now they will still be your babies and not being able … well. Enough words.
YOU CREATED A WONDERFUL IF IMPERFECT CHRISTMAS FOR YOUR FAMILY …. and mine was filled with gratitude because we still all hope next year we can all be together again. And, so many others have lost that hope.
LOVED seeing your Christmas. Such a gift for me. You have a wonderful love-filled family. Thank you for sharing the joy and laughter and normal child behaviors. Made my morning joy!
Author
I’m glad you still had a good Christmas, despite everything. Some people get SO SICK and that’s what makes me so angry when I hear of people blowing it off, or worse, continuing to say it’s “just a cold.” So I’m happy to hear they’re on the mend and I’m hoping for no lasting effects. How scary and awful.
I love this! This sounds exactly like our Christmas this year! Those pjs are absolutely the most precious thing ever!!!
Author
Aren’t they??? I just love matching pjs. Again, we missed you guys so much this year. It was so weird not getting together with everyone else.
Aww, what a lovely, if trying, Christmas. I think you’ve perfectly captured the duality: it can be amazing and wonderful and joyous and you can also want it to be over/different/less exhausting at the same time. It looks like you gave your girls a fantastic holiday. I hope you get some genuine relaxation time yourself before the new year, even if more togetherness isn’t possible right now.
Love the matching pjs! I neglected to do this year (wah wah). Our Christmas was quiet other than going to my sister’s house to open presents outside in masks in 14 degree weather with my parents. Hopefully we are not having to do that next year!