Just retrieve mah eggs, lady!

Retrieval day brought some definite stresses.  I shouldn’t compare my experience to the one I had last time, but it’s hard when one was so positive and one…wasn’t.

I should back up.  This IVF cycle, my doctor wanted us to do back-to-back HCG injections. I am not sure why, because no one I have talked to has done two of them.  Thursday, we learned at our appointment that there were six mature follicles, but only four were really good looking ones.  As soon as the dildo cam was out, I immediately sat up, probably flashing the nurse some of my lady bits, and asked, “So there’s six?”

“Well, yes,” she says, flipping through her notes, “But it looks like two of them aren’t as mature as we’d like, although they could get a little bigger after the trigger shot.”

I felt the tears coming.  “How could there only be four follicles when we had a complete change of protocol?  That’s even less than we had last time.”  I was angry with myself for crying, for being weak in front of the nurse.

She reassured me that we could very likely have six by the retrieval and that they want to see six to ten.  She explained that if I only had five mature eggs last time, I am not going to have say, 10-15 the next.  Of course, it would have been nice to know that from the beginning.

I got the phone call later that day, saying retrieval is a go for Saturday, and to do the trigger at exactly 9:30 pm that night, and again at 9:30 am Friday.

I forgot how big that needle is.  I forgot how big a 1.5-inch needle is.  How thick it is.

I think it was a combination of me not icing my butt long enough, of me bending too far over, stretching and tensing my butt muscle and Chris putting that damn thing in way too slow, but holyKnightsofColumbus that hurt.  Ow.  Shit, it makes me cringe just thinking about it now.  Afterward, Chris tried to cheer me up.

Chris: I’m so sorry, I feel bad.

Me: Yeah that hurt a lot!

Chris: You know if I could take those shots for you, I would.

Me, eyes lighting up: Could I draw up some saline, and give one to you, so you know how it feels?

Chris, looking away, quickly: Heh, well yeah…

Me:  What?

Chris, laughing awkwardly: What?

Me: You said that you would take the shots for me if you could.  How about I give you one so you can see what I have to go through?

Chris: Well I just meant that I figuratively would take the shots for you.

Me: But not literally.

Chris: Do you want Dairy Queen?

I took the Dairy Queen.

Friday morning I went to my work and convinced my awesome co-worker who could stare unflinchingly at my rotund ass to inject me with the other HCG dose.

That done, I was set for retrieval Saturday.

We were told to be there by 8:30 am. We got there at 8:10 and by 8:50, I was squirming in my seat.  “What the hell?” I whispered to Chris, “They tell me to get here at 8:30, and then they are late.”

A nurse came out at that point, and we followed her quickly down the hall to the IVF suites.  “We are running a little behind,” she explains as she speed-walked down to our room, “I know these appointments have to be carefully timed, so I am going to hurry with you guys.”

Because that didn’t make me more anxious.

She explained my discharge instructions and told me Dr. E. is on that day and will be doing my retrieval.  Now, I am trying not to get worked up, but I haven’t heard the greatest things about this doctor.  I wanted Dr. C., the one that did mine last time.  He was so nice and you really felt like you were in good hands.

Well, we ended up waiting another ten minutes for the doctor to come in and talk to us.

Dr. E. finally came in.  She asked how I was feeling.  She asked how my shots went.

“You are on a lot of shots,” she says, “Tell Dr. K. not to put you on so many injections next time.  You can mix some of those together and give it in one shot.” Oh I was frustrated.  You would think running 20 minutes behind already, that the doctor would be in right away.  I still had to do my thing with the nurse anesthetist, pee, and get my IV to be ready to go by 9:30.

Uh, huh.  Moving on.  She asked where I work, what I do, what city it’s in.  By this time, I am squirming in my seat, shooting glances at Chris.  I wanted to cry.  Just retrieve mah eggs, lady!

She then tells us that we have about four eggs.  “Your left one looks like it only got to four, and your right ovary didn’t respond at all.”

Well, thanks.  Thank you for driving home what I already know. That my body has completely failed me.

It took all I had not to completely break down in front of her.  As soon as she left, I started crying.  Chris said it was 9:28.  So much for getting this going right on time.  Finally, I talked with the nurse anesthetist, peed, and was led into the operating room.  My IV was started without problems, and I was given something to “relax.” Yes, I relaxed.  It was great.  The nurses commented on my lightening socks for good luck.  I think I told one of them it was because I had lightning between my legs.  Then I was out.

I was definitely more out of it this time around waking up.  But we got eight eggs.  I am just hoping four to six are mature.  Here is my “waking up after anesthesia” videos.  You can tell I am more groggy than last time.  Apparently my right ovary is “douche” and Chris thinks I look stoned.  Enjoy, internet friends.