IVF makes me roll my eyes

Well, here I am posting again five weeks later.  Where does the time go?  Really?  I’ve only blogged three other times this year.  I remember going through the first IVF, how excited I was.  How I had so much to tell you guys.

I got my period! Woo hoo!  IVF begins!  Here is a picture of my bruise from my blood draw!

Cray-cray guys! I start shots!  ZOMG I’m so nervous! Here is a picture of one of the needles!

Someone pinch me!  My retrieval is today!  Here is a video of me after!

Oh wow!  Transfer day! Here is a picture of my embryo!

Squee! Look at a picture of my pregnancy test! Try not to think about the fact that I just peed on it! I’m pregnant!!!

Then I lost him.  And then the second IVF could not have gone worse.  And then I developed all sorts of wacky health issues as a result of the meds for the third attempt, which was then canceled.

And now here I am, six months from the last IVF.  I’ve gone from hopeless romantic to shit-could-you-BE-more-infertile-GAWD! in a matter of nine months.  I’m so infertile, that even a bunch of men using state-of-the-art technology couldn’t even give me a baby even when the gawddamn sperm was injected right into my egg.  I mean, really.  How much more lazy could those sperms be?

Sperm #1: Uh, dude, shouldn’t we be, like, swimming toward it or something?

Sperm #2: Nah man, we cool.  See that long pointy thing up there?  Man, they gonna pick us up and put us right in there! We don’t gotta do nothing!

Sperm #1: Seriously? We don’t need to squirm our tails around or anything?

Sperm #2: Nah man.  We just gotta hang around and wait.

Sperm #1: Really? I thought we had to like, swim toward it for our lives, and battle each other to the death for one of us to get in?

Sperm #2:  Nope.  That’s the beauty of it!  Those guys are gonna do it for us!  Here, have some chips while we wait.

I’ll be starting the third and last IVF using my own eggs in less than a week.  Who would have thought?  Certainly not me.

Chris and I got back from vacation on a week-long trip to Colorado, using his parents’ time-share that they so graciously let us use.  It was the best thing we could have done right before this IVF.

So I am trying to calm and de-stress myself.  After all, this ain’t my first rodeo.  I just want to move forward and move on.  I will be starting stims pretty much right away, instead of three weeks of birth control.  Which is good.  Because I just want to move on with it.  (But if you ask nicely, maybe I will provide some pictures of big scary needles and embarrassing pictures of me with no make-up. It is what I do best.)

28 Comments

  1. April 28, 2014 / 8:12 pm

    Love to hear from you. I'm sending all the good thoughts, prayers, and juju to you.

  2. April 28, 2014 / 8:16 pm

    So happy to read a post from you! I will be thinking of you!!! XO

  3. April 28, 2014 / 8:23 pm

    Welcome back! In theory I start stims for IVF #3 tomorrow (eeek) and this will be our last IF treatment, pending any frozen embryos, as our insurance only covers 3 IVFs per live birth (but close to unlimited FETs).

  4. April 28, 2014 / 8:23 pm

    I'm so happy to read a post from you! I will be thinking and praying for you! God bless you!

  5. April 28, 2014 / 10:13 pm

    Good luck on this next round of IVF. I hope all goes well! Thinking of you!

  6. April 29, 2014 / 12:06 am

    Its great to get an update from you…I've been wondering how and what you've been doing. Obviously I wish you the best of luck with round 3! I completely understand the jaded attitude, I'd feel exactly the same.

  7. April 29, 2014 / 7:12 am

    Oh I'm just so happy to hear from you, Risa! I'm really hoping that this round of IVF will go much better… no weird reactions to meds, nice healthy eggs, and happy (though lazy) sperm! Hoping big, big things for you!

  8. April 29, 2014 / 8:42 am

    Praying for you! Sure have missed hearing from you!

  9. April 29, 2014 / 9:32 am

    Love your pictures from Colorado and a perfect time for the time. Hoping you can go into this ivf with a clear mind. Can't wait to follow and hear how things go. It is time for a sticky take home baby!

  10. April 29, 2014 / 9:42 am

    Ahhhh, look at those mountains. Lovely.

    Sending you all the good thoughts for IVF #3!

  11. April 29, 2014 / 10:07 am

    Glad to see you blogging! Praying for your 3rd IVF and that you can stay calm. I hope you can keep us updated. We all like to know how you're doing!

  12. April 29, 2014 / 3:47 pm

    Good luck! Sending positive vibes your way!

  13. April 29, 2014 / 3:53 pm

    This post says it all perfectly. I love the photos from Colorado. You definitely look happy and relaxed and I'm hoping that you're in that perfect place for IVF #3. I'm cheering you on and looking forward to those big needle and no make up photos!! 🙂

  14. April 29, 2014 / 4:06 pm

    Good hearing from you!!! Glad you got a fun trip in!

  15. April 29, 2014 / 4:56 pm

    Glad you're still around, if a bit more jaded. Welcome to the cynical dark side. 😉

  16. Anonymous
    April 29, 2014 / 6:07 pm

    Haw haw…that sperm conversation is funny. If the embryologist had a sense of humor, he'd choose the sperm that were laying around instead of the ones that were swimming. I know what you mean–if I had known that I would be doing 3 IVF cycles over 13 months, I would've started my own blog back then. I thought it would be 1 and done, which cracks me up now!

  17. April 29, 2014 / 7:11 pm

    i am so glad you got to have a little retreat before this round.
    prayers!

  18. April 29, 2014 / 7:50 pm

    Always happy to see an update from you! Best of luck on this round. We went on a little trip to Colorado last year and loved it. What a great way to relax before the crazy starts again.

  19. April 29, 2014 / 11:22 pm

    Good to hear from you! Echoing Aramis -welcome to the cynical dark side! I'm getting ready for IVF#2 -sharing same cynical thoughts..

  20. April 30, 2014 / 7:48 am

    So happy to see you back in this space. Looking forward to following this IVF and praying like crazy that this is THE cycle.

  21. April 30, 2014 / 8:03 am

    Glad to hear from you and good luck with IVF #3. I am totally with you on the cynical thing.

    And the conversation between the sperm…so funny.

  22. April 30, 2014 / 11:04 am

    It's great hearing from you! I've missed you! I'm glad you guys were able to get away before all the craziness started! Wishing you the best of luck on your upcoming cycle! Praying for you guys!

  23. April 30, 2014 / 2:14 pm

    Good Luck, Risa! My fingers are crossed for you!

  24. April 30, 2014 / 7:14 pm

    Goodluck on IVF #3. A vacation is always the best before starting a process like this.

  25. April 30, 2014 / 9:22 pm

    Big scary needles! I always love a good picture of a big scary needle.

  26. May 1, 2014 / 12:57 pm

    So happy to see you! Fingers crossed for this round of IVF <3

  27. May 2, 2014 / 7:59 am

    Your trip looked so relaxing, I'm glad that you guys got away before this cycle started. I will be praying for you that everything works out this time. Thinking of you!

  28. May 4, 2014 / 7:16 pm

    Awesome post! I totally felt the exact same way lol! Wishing you sooooo much luck! Good for you for taking a vacation!♡

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