Alternative titles:
- Things are moving too fast, can we pwease slow it down a bit?
- The day Risa was finally treated like a pregnant person
- I wanted to run screaming from the nurse’s room because I am so not ready for this OB business
Years ago, year and years ago, back in the day when I thought I was going to get pregnant on my own after a few months of trying, I started researching. I read this book Pushed by Jennifer Block. It’s basically about the way we treat pregnant women in the U.S. and the skyrocketing cesarean rates done unnecessarily. Back then, I read the book and thought I had my whole birth plan figured out: I would get a good old-school midwife and deliver in some birth center. Or I would find an underground midwife and deliver at home in a water bath. It would be absolutely perfect, hands-off, and natural. I looked into centers and started researching midwives.
Then infertility hit. And it was medications, technology and lots of doctor appointments. That “hands-off” birth I thought I was going to have turned into me scoffing, “What birth? I don’t even have a hope of a pregnancy!”
I think there are many women out there who can go to the chiropractor or the acupuncturist or the Chinese herbal medicine woman and will get pregnant. I don’t believe I would be here now, seven weeks pregnant without a brilliant doctor that is aggressively treating my MTHFR mutation issues with Folgaard, baby aspirin, and Lovenox injections. In fact, I 100% think this baby is still alive in me because of the Lovenox. Well, and the high doses of progesterone and estrogen. Point being, science and doctors have been a huge part of my life for the last few years. And that’s what I have gotten used to.
So two weeks ago, when my fertility clinic informed me that I should make an eight-week first OB visit so that my care could be transitioned over by twelve weeks, I was like, “Wait, saaaaay whaaaa???”
Suddenly, I had to choose an OB provider, like, now. And the underground midwife went out the window because I had to scramble. I ended up choosing a doctor who I actually saw six years ago for initial fertility concerns. He’s a great doctor and has personal interests in infertility and high-risk pregnancies.
Once I decided on him, I made my first appointment, which went swimmingly when I was patiently trying to explain to the scheduler that my last menstrual period means jack because I went through an IVF procedure.
Me: “I can tell you my transfer date was March 25th. I am six weeks, three days today. My due date is December 11th.”
Scheduler: “What’s a transfer date?”
Me: “Um, well the transfer of my embryos. You know, for an IVF procedure? Um, transferring the embryos into my uterus?”
Scheduler: (probably desperately trying to find a box for “transfer date”) “Uh, oh, ok…transfer date…well, we’ll just put it there.” Silent typing.
She went on to tell me that I needed to make an OB educator appointment first and then I would make an appointment for the doctor for my first OB visit.
Scheduler: “They want to see you between six and eight weeks. So if your transfer date was March 25th… You would be six weeks on May 6th.”
Me: (facepalm) “No, you don’t understand. I am six weeks, three days today. I know exactly how far along I am. The egg thaw and conception occurred the Friday before the 25th…” Trailing off because I am so losing her at this point.
Scheduler: “Let me put you on hold.”
Me: …..
Scheduler: “Ok, now and you said you did IVF? What’s that?”
Me: (deep breath) “Invitro Fertilization? Where the egg and sperm are fertilized in a lab and then embryos are transferred back?”
Scheduler: “Um… So IV…S? As in Sam?”
Me: “F, as in Fertilization.”
We never discussed it further. But bless her heart that she has no clue what IVF means. Really. Bless her heart.
Anyway, I met with an RN today for my OB education appointment. It was an hour-long and we went over my history, medication, and then the education packets. We ended up spending the whole hour on my history and medications. Luckily, we had more time and could finish the meeting. I left with a slew of packets and booklets and things to remember and all I am thinking is, “I’m sorry I can’t think about pre-registering at the hospital when all I can focus on is if my baby still has a heartbeat!”
All in all, my first appointment with the OB doc is May 6th along with an ultrasound. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be having weekly ultrasounds until twelve weeks with my fertility clinic because I won’t be getting another until my 20-week anatomy scan. But I can’t say I didn’t walk out of there overwhelmed with all things prenatal. I mean, I am trying not to think of a miscarriage but the thought is always there.
And this post is getting long and I am only seven weeks, and can’t think too much about delivery, but I will talk about how different my reality is from what I was envisioning six years ago for delivering a baby in another post.
But I’m still here. Still pregnant. I have my eight-week ultrasound on Thursday and I am in desperate need to see this baby again, for reassurance that she didn’t go anywhere.
I had a somewhat similar experience. I have PCOS and ovulated on Day 55. First, they basically told me I was having a miscarriage when they measured my HCG at 8 weeks from my last period and it was, given my late ovulation date, super low. Then they seriously could not get past the date of my last period and kept telling me I was much farther a long than I thought. I mean, is it really that uncommon to not have textbook cycles?
Anyway, I'm excited for you! Can't wait to read more about your pregnancy!
OMG that woman….seriously how can you work for an OB and not know what IVF is???
OMG. That is outrageous. HOW does someone working with an OB not know what IVF is? Looooong before my IF journey- I knew what IVF was, :eyeroll:. I hope the OB works out for you.
When scheduling my OB appointment it was somewhat like yours. They didn't have a clue and ended up scheduling for the wrong times in pregnancy because she put in the wrong dates. Anyway so glad to know you are doing well and I am excited to hear about your appointment.
This post takes me back to my first education appointment before I saw my OB. It was at that appointment that it became so clear how different pregnancy after infertility is. Needless to say, I saw my OB once, watched her freak out and then was transferred to a clinic that could handle my case. Either way, hang in there. And congratulations on 8 weeks!!!
6 months after my IVF egg retrieval (no good embryos, so no transfer) I went to my OB/GYN because my cycles were annoyingly irregular. I was sure it was because of the IVF, or the hemorrhaging after the retrieval. Both the scheduler and the nurse asked me what it was. Even after I said In-Vitro Fertilization, the note for the doctor said IVS. How do they not know? It can't possibly be that rare.
The receptionists know nothing. I had one argue with me that if my LMP was on date X-X-XX then I should be a week further along than what I'm telling her after a little back and forth I let her put down what she wanted & just talked to the doc. People are clueless. Until you feel the baby moving it's tought to wait 4 weeks inbetween appointments let alone between ultrasounds. We saw a MFM so we were privy to extra pictures but it was still you're during the wait times. It blows my mind how people used to just believe they were pregnant without an U/S at any point in their pregnancy. Crazy.
Hard during the wait times not your
I know, my mom was telling me she never had any US with either of my sisters or me. I don't know. I'd be climbing the walls.
I just wish the receptionists at the doctors offices were a little more clued in when it came to what they might just have to deal with. I don't know how many times I was putting my hand to my face and groaning with trying to explain myself. Hoping all goes well.
I can't even. This woman is too stupid to live. There's no way she works at an OB's office and has NEVER encountered an IVF patient before.
LOL. I can't believe a nurse to a doctor's office has no idea what IVF is. in that case, you should have just counted backwards and gave a fake cycle date. 😀
Yay for 8 weeks! (today).
I had almost the same experience making my first OB appointment after IVF. The receptionist made me spell it and then tried to schedule my first appointment for 13 weeks even though I am high risk. Almost lost my mind and then relaxed and just sent a message to my OB who got me in the following week. Excited to find your blog after years of infertility and finally becoming pregnant. Best of luck to you!
Oh, boy. From an OB office? That is SO frustrating.
Due to some issues I had, I wound up explaining to a lot of non-fertility medical people how IVF works. I often had to explain to people why the last menstrual period date was entirely irrelevant to calculating how far along I was, etc. I had a whole routine down. I'm always surprised at how many people don't understand how IVF works…
Hope everything goes well!
Whoo. That's breathtaking, that anyone in an OB office (or anyone, at this point) would not have heard of IVF. But even when the OB office thinks they understand fertility problems, getting them to go with your known due date rather than your LMP is just a losing battle. Fertility docs, when they give you a due date, should also calculate back 40 weeks and hand you a date on a piece of paper, saying, "And this is the date you'll give the OB office when they ask for your LMP so you don't confuse them. Poor lambs."
I did that with kid #2, having learned my lesson. I made up an LMP date and just gave that without any hint of fertility-related anything. It helped so much. Infuriatingly, I actually had the same problem with the RE's office with kid #2, because I (urban legend alert) was gearing up to start fertility treatments again when we got intended-but-surprise pregnant naturally. (Mostly naturally. I was on progesterone to regulate my periods, which always gives me more effective cycles for a month or two afterward. In this case, it was super effective!) Anyway, the nurse, who's known me for six years at this point, keeps asking for my LMP, when I know for a fact that I ovulated a week late. She kept telling me that my beta numbers were doubling but seemed to be a week behind so I should be cautiously optimistic. I'd say, "But I ovulated a week late, so that's right on time," and she'd say, "But the numbers just aren't where we'd like to see them this long after your period…" I gave up and just let her be nervous at me. Didn't think I'd ever be the one reassuring the fertility nurse about my own pregnancy.
Oh this post is so familiar! I had the SAME conversation with my OB's scheduler. Asking me when my last period was, and me trying to explain that it didn't matter, because I did IVF and they triggered me early, so my LMP doesn't line up with my due date. They kept telling me up until I was in my SECOND trimester that my due date was July 25 and I had to tell them no, it's July 21. AND my OB was my RE's wife! I told her to call her husband and hash it out with him haha!
Oh, and my RE office graduated me at SIX WEEKS!!! I was freaking out the heck out!!!
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