This one is way later in coming than I intended. I had a few deadlines come up with work and this blog seemed to take a hiatus there for a bit.
May was interesting. On the one hand, we had the same mundaness that is our new everyday life and on the other, our country has been in chaos with the murder of George Floyd.
We had rioters close to our home (the out of town white supremacists) and things were so surreal there for a few days. Our state was burning. Small changes are being made. Probably not enough, but it’s the beginning of something, I’m sure.
I AM CURRENTLY…
Relaxing in a hammock? We have all sorts of things we’ve been getting since our whole world has been shrunk to the size of our house and yard. I’ve been starting to offer web design services and am finishing up a job with a client. It’s been nice doing something other than writing. I’m down 6.5 pounds. Going crazy. I think I’m dealing with full-blown depression, but Olivia is going back to daycare and I hope I can work through this with the return of some normalcy. I started physical therapy for my knees since my entire skeletal system had been messed up from two pregnancies (but this started with my first). It’s been working — my pain has been better than it has been in years.
CHRIS IS CURRENTLY…
Starting to get back into running. Making homemade pizza dough for Olivia every Friday night for family night. He had a set back with work with a potential promotion, which sucks. It was one of those situations where you have a good bottle of wine waiting to be used for a special occasion, and now it continues to sit. The good thing is his working from home has been going well. He’s been so great at helping with the kids when they’re (or I’m) losing it. His employer is even doing monthly parenting Zoom calls that we’ve both been sitting in on.
OLIVIA IS CURRENTLY…
Finding lots of wildlife out in our backyard. Caterpillars, toads, various worms. She gets obsessed and then when it’s time to come inside and she needs to put her critter down, she has a meltdown. This kid, God love her. Her whole world is messed up and she’s taking it in stride the best way she knows how.
Her tantrums have been intense. So much so that I had a conversation with my therapist about her possibly needing some behavioral therapy, but we’re working through it and it’s exhausting. She misses her friends.
She got a big girl bike, in which we initially took the training wheels off, but she was having a hard time simultaneously balancing, steering and braking, so they’re back on while she gets the hang of it. She loves going on bike rides.
EMELIA IS CURRENTLY…
Growing like crazy and becoming a little person. She loves her stroller rides and watching her sister. She doesn’t even really mind getting smothered by Olivia constantly. We had initially tried her in her Johnny Jumper, but she was too floppy in it. I’m thinking now though, she’ll be able to control her torso better, so we’ll be setting it up again. She loves to do her high pitched squeal and being that it’s not loud, it’s been absolutely adorable when she does it.
THE GOOD
- Chris and I have been doing a few date nights where we order in after the kids go to bed. Actually the last two times we got Osaka and it was incredible. I can’t get enough of it. I may be craving it right now.
- We’ve found a bunch of toads in our yard lately, much to Olivia’s delight.
- We got several bags of hand-me-downs from Olivia’s daycare provider and are pretty much set with size 6 and 7 clothing for her.
- I rode my bike for the first time in nine years.
- I’m down 6.5 pounds. Oh wait, I already said that? Well I’m saying it again because I feel GOOD.
- I did a redo on my office, decluttering and getting some new furniture. It’s so much cozier than it was and my desk is under the window now.
- We bought a bench to sit on outside while we’re in the front yard. It’s where Olivia loves to play, but I don’t feel comfortable yet letting her be out there alone for long periods of time without us.
- We have no dandelions out in the yard because Olivia’s picked them all (and gave them to me in huge bouquets).
- I’ve been seeing my mom again the last few Fridays and Olivia does a great job at physical distancing (though she darts in to hug my mom when she can). She’s really missed her Gigi.
THE BAD
- We’re still sheltering in place, though the orders have been relaxed somewhat.
- I haven’t been good at seeing friends or even getting out on drives.
- Chris and I both got the virus in the form of covid toes. We’re good now, which I’m grateful for, but it was sort of unnerving there for awhile.
- I love socializing (oh how I love it) but I’m also introverted and need my alone time. I haven’t really gotten that in 2.5 months for a long enough time to really “fill my cup,” so to speak. I’m going crazy.
- I found the perfect dress for me from Trunk Club…and then realized later it is way too long on me and drags on the floor. I need to get it hemmed.
ON MY MIND
- COVID.
- Police brutality.
- Systemic racism.
- I’m disappointed PRIDE won’t be held this year (crowds and all which I totally understand) because Olivia is older now (it poured rain last year so she hasn’t been since she was 2.5 years old.
- Same with the state fair. This virus stuff is on my mind way too much.
- Chris and I have the opportunity through Chris’s company to donate $500 to a non-profit. If anyone has any ideas, I’m all ears. Given everything right now, I want to donate to a black-owned non-profit, but I’m trying to pinpoint which one.
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I’m curious about day care. You mentioned sending Olivia back but also that you’re still distancing from family. We are distancing still as well, and my kids didn’t have plans to go to day care this summer, so we haven’t had to make any real decisions like that. I’m wondering what’s happening in the day care as far as distancing (ha!), cleaning, etc. How did you decide it was the right decision?
Ps – there is no judgement intended in this comment! I’m genuinely curious because I struggle with these Covid decisions myself.
Author
Honestly, I’ve been weighing my mental health against our physical health. My mental health is suffering. I don’t get a break, ever. I’m spiraling and daycare for both Olivia and I is the best thing. I knew if we continued like this, I’d have a very real breakdown. And watching so many of my friends with their kids in daycare, essential employee or now, and seeing how well they were doing mentally… well, I needed to do this. Olivia is extremely extroverted, I’m introverted. Her behaviors were getting to be unmanageable for me. So we still do what we can. We limit other social interaction to what both of us mentally need and we wash our hands, use masks, continue to get things delivered. I need a balance after 2.5 months of near-complete isolation.
I feel this so much. The thought of my kids potentially not being able to go back to school in the fall is panic-inducing.
I feel like the mental health aspect of parenting in a pandemic is overlooked. Parents should not be made to feel guilty about needing a break – and it’s not just the constant snacks or other meme-worthy behaviors.
It’s the being “on” 24/7 with kids who have no where to go and nothing else to do. It’s so hard. I’m really glad you have this option for you and Olivia.
Thank you for sharing.
Author
Yes! I’m like screw the overeating – My kid is emotionally suffering (as am I) over 2.5 months of isolation. Let’s talk about that. It doesn’t make a good meme, but at least people wouldn’t feel like they were alone in this total aloneness.
Glad to see more from you and glad the hiatus was not illness but work. Covid toes …. hope when they get a REALLY reliable test you will have immunity. If all you had was the toe thing you were lucky. Yes, Covid and racism are absolutely all over my mind too. And I am working through coming out of as much SIP while still being very careful due to my risk classifications. I do not want to use one of the ICU beds currently available and I do believe they will be filled at a much higher rate really soon as a result of the protests. The protestors where I am were NOT the looters or violence creators.
I saw you had lost weight in your very first picture. SO proud of you!!!!!!! It is really hard to do …. and the older you get the harder so achieving this now is important. It will make a GIANT HARD TO OVERSTATE difference with your joints for the rest of your life. Also discourage type2. Really, PCOS is a great big warning sign to learn to control glucose levels always. Use a meter and learn how your body is acting now and then keep an eye on it as your body will change silently. A1C changes found at doctor visits are later to the party than we want to think.
HURRAH AND CHEERS TO YOU!!!!!!!!
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Thank you rose and hope you are well!
Hope you feel better soon. There are some wonderful memories here even with the challenges. May 2020 has turned out so sadly for us it’s good to see some sunshine elsewhere, despite all the things we all wish were different.
Author
Yes, Jen! I agree.
we sent Kate back to pre-school and it made a world of difference. She still has tantrums and we’re dealing with the fact that she’s exhausted when she comes home as she’s not napping at school, but it’s been better for everyone. Glad to hear you are safe after COVID and the protests! Have been thinking of you!
Author
I agree, daycare has been so much better for all of us. There’s still tantrums, but I feel like I can handle them better.
Your Osaka dinner looks so good! I’m sorry to hear that you guys were hit with Covid, but so glad you are doing better. Congrats on the weight loss!
Author
Oh, it was delicious. And thank you!