I’ve started this post… 21 times? Normally when I sit down to write a blog post (which I realize has been a pathetic number of times since Olivia was born-I know, I know, I’m BAAAAHD), I just… start writing. I’ve had posts that have been hard to write, sure. Ones that have made me cry. And when I’m feeling uninspired (which contrary to what you may believe is 90% of the time) I just… don’t write. I’ve never been one to post a post just to post. Every post I write on here has meaning. More or less.
This is by far the hardest post I’ve ever had to write. And if you think I’m just overreacting or being dramatic…
You’re probably right.
That made me sound like a pathetic narcissistic train wreck. (I do fully realize that I am a pathetic narcissistic train wreck. I have a blog, for the love God. And I’m teaching my daughter the art of a good selfie.)
A point. I haz it.
I’ve been thinking. And planning. And hashing things out with a few of my super cool writer friends (you know, the ones who are way better writers than I and don’t ramble and make up words and take FOR-EVER to get to the point).
This blog. Tis going away.
Ok, it’s not going away at all. Narcissistic pathetic train wreck. See above.
This blog has been a huge part of my life. I started it in 2012, three years into my infertility journey, and right before we made the move to see an RE. This blog has recorded failed IUIs, failed IVFs. It was my outlet for losing my first baby. It has recorded the journey I took to donor eggs and all the fears that a future baby created this way was something to be grieved. It was there for my positive pregnancy tests with Olivia. It faithfully remained while I wrote weekly about my pregnancy. It captured the birth of my miracle last November. It is now a history of her month-by-month updates and my first year as a parent.
Some people will call it “just another infertility blog.” And when I created it, four years ago, it was “just an infertility blog.” A place to record the stuff I was going through.
But then I met you guys. You who, commented, who cried with me, who cheered me on. Some of you I have had the immense pleasure to meet in real life. I’m Facebook friends with… God I can’t even give a number. I have a box in my craft room (yes, I have a craft room) full of “infertility” stuff. Transfer socks. Cards. Trinkets from gift exchanges.
This has become so much more than “just a blog.”
Infertility is still a big part of my life. Life I said before, I’m still infertile. We’re still going back to Texas in over a year from now. Nothing there has changed.
And yet everything’s changed.
Is this a parenting blog now? It sure isn’t about infertility and the shooting down of storks anymore.
And so here, at long last, is my point.
I’m not quitting blogging. No way. I’m way too much of an attention whore for that nonsense. But I think I’ve outgrown this space. And I’ve struggled with this for awhile now. I could keep everything the same, the status quo and continue to write about whatever I want, which let’s be honest, is Olivia. And the occasional vagina post.
Or I could still blog about those things and keep my writing the same, but revamp the space. For the better of course. After all, lots of bloggers do it. Start a new blog. Move their blog over somewhere else. I wonder how many struggle with the feelings about it. Leaving this blog behind and starting from scratch for me is out of the question. This is a record of my journey. I can’t give that up.
But making the decision to rebrand myself didn’t come easy. So there will be a new blog coming. I’m shooting for it to be up and going by January 1st, 2017. It works with my Type-A OCD. And maybe if I put it out there in writing, I will actually feel the pressure to hold myself to it.
It won’t be Who Shot Down My Stork? anymore. It will be something else. But I hope you’ll like it. I hope you follow me over.
Those of you who follow me on Facebook, let’s be honest, this really won’t affect you at all. My page on there will still be there, only it will change from Who Shot Down My Stork? to my name, Risa Kerslake. I’ll still be posting my links on there of new posts.
For those of you still reading from WordPress or Blogger or some other non-Facebooky way, I hope you’ll follow me over even though Twitter rules and blog posts over 140 characters drool. (Though being that I just finally joined Instagram (follow me!) after not posting anything since 2012, I’m sure it’s a matter of time before I join Twitter.) I used to hate hashtags or at the very least, not understand them. Now I’m like “HASH ALL OF THE TAGS!” Seriously. Why have I not joined more social media platform before? Oh right, that’s because I was adding widgets to my blog and writing letters by hand.
Anyway. So maybe you finally read through this huge post and are now thinking, So she’s moving. So what?
I don’t know. It’s hard giving up my identity that has been here with me for four years. I mean, I’m “that stork blogger.” But… I’m not that stork blogger anymore. Even if I’m not ready to admit that. When people find my blog, I don’t want them to see “Stork” and think it a safe infertility blog and then see Olivia plastered all over it. Likewise, I don’t want to turn away parenting bloggers or people who have not gone through infertility because I’m an infertility blog. You know?
So stay tuned. In between my numerous posts (heh.) between now and the end of the year, I will be reminding you guys. I will make sure I have you all good and prepared to move on with me. Because you know, it’s always about me.
I guess I have always felt each persons blog is their own to do with as they please ya know. I haven't ever really felt like I needed to change it in any way because I dunno it's just my life and it has evolved how it has evolved. That or maybe I just don't have time to think about it haha! I'm sure at some point I will slowly fade off into the sunset or something but for now it is just there and is super handy for looking back at stuff. But wait so if I am not on facebook I won't be able to read your new blog????
No no! You will definitely still be able to read it. I will make sure that once the site is actually up, I'm posting the link and then of course when I finally moved over I will keep this blog up for a couple months for people to find it and move over. Then you can just copy and paste it into the blogger feed like mine probably is currently for you. And that's the thing. I'm still going to talk about infertility, I'm still going to talk about parenting. But I feel like moving to a non-infertility sounding blog will give me more freedom to talk about other things as well.
Yay for you finding new inspiration with a new blog! I'll be excited to read it for sure.
One question…will we be able to read your old posts? I found your blog this weekend and literally read the.entire.thing. Seriously, when you said below in that April Fools J/K post:
"I saw a post on Fertilebook of someone complaining about how they can't be induced for two more days and how crabby they were. I wanted to scream, "You bitch. Do you have any idea how lucky you are???" I know, it's mean. I'm mean. But I would do anything for mind-numbing heartburn. For a giant belly that keeps me awake at night. For 24-hour-a-day nausea. I would do anything."
I almost cried. Because I have been there too, and am just a year into my infertility journey. I marked a whole bunch of posts to go back to on those lonely nights when my hubs is sleeping and I'm surrounded by Fertiles and need some cynical laughs.
What I'm saying is, I'm hoping you'll leave your posts up – somewhere – for those of us with jaded minds to refer to when needed. Sort of like Wikipedia for Infertiles. 🙂
I will follow you anywhere, lady!
Funny, I'm in the same boat. I've been alluding to it for a while but the time is coming for a change. And I think that "rebranding" yourself will probably make it easier to write. At least, that's what I'm hoping for.
Just quoted out a professional site redesign (from someone I know, actually) and my jaw hit the floor. I was like yeahhhhhhhh…no. If you find someone good doing yours on the cheap let me know (or maybe you're doing it yourself? If so, mad props to you).
Meanwhile, I'm planning to use fiverr for a new logo. Not sure if you know about it but it looks legit.
But yeah wherever you go I shall go. Your people will be my people (bit of bible humor, how you like that!). I have fears about losing my followers but at this point that number has dwindled down to like 5 maybe and two of them are members of my immediate family. So whatevs.
P.S. I love making up words, it's the best! That doesn't make you less of a writer, it makes you an INNOVATOR.
Yes, you will definitely get to read old posts. The whole thing is coming with me, and I suppose a page will be created for "Infertility" and all those posts will be there. They will go up to my positive tests so that there is no pregnancy, just infertility stuff.
And thank you! I'm so glad you found me! It's funny, I haven't looked at that post in a long time and reading it just now, remembering the nausea, the belly and the heartburn… yes. "I would do anything."
I hope you get to experience that as well.
Awww thank you!!!! And that's awesome you have been thinking about the same. You're right. A rebranding gives me (us) the freedom to write whatever. It's funny. So many other bloggers talk about their infertility, but also what else is going on in their life. It's weird I never really did that. I remember talking about some stuff, but mostly kept it to the point, which was to talk about IF. I always felt that that is what I was there for. I'm excited about this new blog, because I won't have to feel guilty talking about other stuff.
I have a techie husband and cousin who are helping with the programming part of it. I was thinking about someone coming to design it… but now I'm reconsidering that. With putting money toward a domain and website hosting (all of which is out of my element) paying a designer to do it… yikes. I don't think it's worth it. I like the idea of a logo design though. Never heard of them. I can't wait to see what you do.
(And your people are my people too.) Blogging is definitely not what it was and it makes me sad, but I can't see giving it up. And how can it get a revival if people stop blogging??
I'm glad you'll still be blogging, especially as my husband and I will be venturing into donor egg IVF starting in the next month or two. Your blog has honestly been a total god-send! Whatever you do and wherever you go, I will follow you 🙂
-Sabrina
Yes! I can't give it up. Do I have a ton of time to invest in it? Not so much like I used to. But I still need this outlet and the friendships it's given me. And thank you! Wishing you the best in your own DE journey!
I've been here. Still am here. There are days it seems weird to be writing about my life after infertility in the space I wrote about my journey through it. For me, the space still seems relevant, mainly because I've made it so. But I also wonder about closing out this space to start another. Often, actually.
Regardless, I'm glad you'll still be writing. Because your journey is now a new chapter. And that's a very good thing. So I'll be following and commenting. Cheering you on as always.
You're right, you have definitely remained relevant. I love your blog and your writing. And thank you so much!
Aw I'll miss your blog, you should keep it! I actually don't mind when I click on an infertility blog and I see that the blogger now has a child as I then like to find out what worked for her in the end! And I don't think infertility is something you ever truly get over so it's good to hear about life afterwards.
I'm moving it over with me! It will all still be there! I just feel like I need a new space, one that isn't so constrictive. I know, I do struggle with losing the people who are looking for infertility blogs, because that's not what mine is going to be anymore. But I also realize I don't quite fit into this blog anymore.
I'm moving it over with me! It will all still be there! I just feel like I need a new space, one that isn't so constrictive. I know, I do struggle with losing the people who are looking for infertility blogs, because that's not what mine is going to be anymore. But I also realize I don't quite fit into this blog anymore.