6 weeks with Olivia: “This is my heartbeat song”

I’ve been terrified again the last few days. Terrified this is all too good to be true, that the baby isn’t alive anymore. I was freaking out over the stupidest stuff. Things that I won’t even get into on here because, even me, Risa, chronic oversharer on the Internet, has limits.

It took my husband and my very dear friend who can look past my completely awkward questions and rants to calm my nerves.

This morning, I knew I was going to see my baby again.

The ultrasound

This time around went much better than last time. I had one of my favorite techs and we had a doctor that we’ve had before for a prior transfer that is really nice. She stood next to me while the tech readied the screen.

I saw the black hole (aka gestational sac) first. Then I saw the baby right away. Immediately.

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And then I saw this little baby had a heartbeat. 111 bpm to be exact.

Ok, so I know there isn’t much there. But you guys, this—this is a baby. In me.

I saw this tiny little baby pulsing and I knew immediately it was the heartbeat.

“Is that the heartbeat?” I asked the doctor.

“That’s the heartbeat,” she smiled.

And I did this gaspy laugh thing that caused the entire screen to shake, interrupting the measurements being taken, so I slapped my hand over my mouth. “Sorry!” and the doctor laughed.

“Don’t be,” she said, “This is a big deal!”

The numbers

4/8/15	4/10/15	4/13/15	4/17/15
Beta: 564	Beta: 1,224	Beta: 3,655	Beta: 10,527
Progesterone: 29	Progesterone: 67	Progesterone: 38	Progesterone: 21
Estrogen: 1,403	Estrogen: 1,948	Estrogen: 697	Estrogen: 1,204

My progesterone has decided it’s going to be the bane of my existence. I mean, my doctor wants to see it at least 30 and it’s dipped down to 21. I’m already on 2mLs of PIO at night, and oral Prometrium twice a day. I mean, I don’t know what more I can do. The nurse said that at around week 8-9 the placenta takes over and it’s not as critical, but right now, it’s a concern. She suggested warming the oil up to body temperature and really rubbing it in, but other than that, I am a little worried. Seaweed better hang on tight.

I’m going to be doing ultrasounds now every week until I hit twelve weeks. Please pray/think good thoughts that when I go back for another ultrasound, the progesterone has gone up.