This post is part of the 30 Day Infertility Blogging Challenge. I thought this might be a great way for me to focus on my infertility, but also to show myself in a different light. You can read the whole series by clicking here.
27. If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?
Well, I think it goes without saying that I would NOT have used birth control pills for years. Condoms? Puh-lease. Worrying that if I miss a pill I would get pregnant? I laugh.
But on a more serious note, if I would have known early on that we would have trouble having a baby, I would not have waited three and a half years to see a specialist. After that first year, I would have gone on six months of Clomid, and then I would have asked for a fertility specialist referral. Who knows if we would have a baby by now if we would have made different choices. I know that everyone always says they wouldn’t change anything about their life because everything happened for a reason. But that is a part of my life I regret. I can’t do anything about it now, but it is something I kick myself for. I guess I just always had that mentality that maybe next month will be our month.
So as far as my lady business goes, my body is pretty much not cool with this progesterone.
Head: hurts. I don’t get headaches all that often, but I have them more frequently now.
Stomach: Nauseous. Feels sick when there isn’t much food in there, but only allows a small bit of food in there at a time.
Mid-section: Rotund. I’m so bloated people keep asking me if I’m Jabba the Hut. Trouble walking with huge belly. Can’t stuff my face because there is no room amidst everything else in there. But hungry all the time. Dilemma.
Intestines: Hate me. Have started discussing bowel habits with anyone who will listen.
Bladder: Needs to pee frequently. Mostly at night.
Mind: Exhaustion. Wants to go to bed at 8:00 every night. Severely inhibiting sex life. Vivid dreams. Trying to forget these dreams. Also wants to cry at anything from kittens to a tampon commercial.
I’m just a bag of fun-doodles lately.
Amen to the BC pills being such a joke. I laugh at how naive I was in college! I went off the pill after years being on it (though now I don't remember why). You get so used to those pill-induced clockwork cycles. You miss your period, and you don't think, oh, hey, PCOS. You think OMGWTFBBQ I must be pregnant! Oh shit! Ha!
Ha ha! Yep! I was like clockwork on those, every 28 days. At 29 I was taking a whole box of pregnancy tests. Sheesh.