2020 goals: Halfway there

We’re halfway done with 2020 and I already can’t wait for it to be over. Obviously so much going on in our world has affected these goals (because it’s always about me). So let’s look at how I’m doing in my 2020 goals so far.

1. Aim higher in freelancing.

Weeeeellll…. my writing has looked a bit different than I was thinking it would, even with a baby in tow which I knew would be an issue in and of itself. But I was also planning on having two days a week where Olivia was in daycare and another two days where she was in preschool for two hours a day to get some work done, especially while the baby was napping. But then the virus hit. Preschool was over. Daycare was on hiatus for over two months. Suddenly, we were finding ourselves home all the time. all.the.time. I started freelancing for a travel nurse site, but the main copywriter was then furloughed, and I wrote some pieces for a men’s fertility site, but because of corona, things have been pushed back. Publications are so hard to get pitches approved. 99% of my pitches went unanswered. I know I’m not hustling like I used to. Part of it is because of the lack of child care. I did get an article published in Vox and worked with the most fantastic editor. And I did get my second article published in Parents earlier this year. But alas, The New York Times is just going to be on the backburner for my next biggest byline ha.

One thing I’ve been doing though, is branching out from writing articles. I am looking to do some web design and have a few clients lined up for that. So… that’s a little change I’ve been really liking.

2. Pay more attention to this blog.

I think I’ve done a good job at this so far. I’m working on a FAQ page, which has been on the backburner, but it’s slow going. Since I’m not working as much right now, I try to blog when I can. I also am doing monthly newsletters, and being more consistent about that. So far so good. I’ve been slowly chipping away at old posts since my move from Blogger, fixing the formatting of them, but it’s tedious, especially when I started putting it more images in my posts. It’s annoying, but the posts also look terrible, so I want to fix them.

3. Heal my body.

I said for my goals I wanted to lose 20 pounds, but really, I needed to lose almost 50, thanks to all the years of hormones and stress eating during IVF. To date, I’ve lost 9 pounds since getting serious in the last five weeks. My clothes fit better, my face is slimmer, and man it feels good not be so bloated.

I also started physical therapy for my knees. I had/have some pretty severe weakness in the last four years since Olivia was born, probably from some skeletal changes in my pregnancy. Since then, I’ve had chronic daily pain that I was too ass-stubborn for to get help. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. But I finally got started with therapy and am already feeling a difference. I wish I would have done this before. Actually, I slid on my steps on Mother’s Day and jacked up the knee that was worse and of course, just messed things up more. That was the straw that led me to talk to my doctor.

Right before COVID hit, I got a referral to pelvic floor therapy. I had always told myself that once the IVF was done and there’d be no more pregnancies, I’d address my pelvic floor issues. So I was really looking forward to this and got the first visit scheduled a few days before the SIP orders and the country shut down. Needless to say, it was canceled as being non-essential and I haven’t addressed it again. My knees are the bigger issue anyway, so I’m planning on focusing on that and when they get back to baseline, I’ll plan on starting pelvic floor therapy up again.

4. Make a budget for real this time.

Eh, the way I see it, who needs a budget? That’s code for I haven’t done shit with it. Actually, Chris and I did make up a budget. We went through what we spend every month on utilities and bills (fun fact—we still owe a shit ton in student loans. A shit ton.) but haven’t done much else with it. Responsible people would have family meetings and actually follow through with their budget, but not us!

5. Make a list of “someday” projects I need to accomplish and actually work through them.

I think I’m doing fairly well with this. I wanted to finish off my paper scrapbooks and start my digital ones from when Olivia was first born, but I haven’t touched any of that. I did write down my Pinterest recipes. Yes, I’m one of those people who actually make the recipes I save on Pinterest. I actually write them on recipe cards and keep them in books. A few have disappeared from the internet so I’m glad I wrote down the ones I loved. I’ve also wanted to go through my Facebook saves and I’ve been doing that, but it’s slower going. In the sense that I save things far more than I actually utilize them.

One of the biggest projects I had on my list was to organize our offices. Chris’s is a pretty big room, twice the size of my own. And we have the guest bed in there, but also all my kid’s clothes to go through and sell, as well as a bunch of storage stuff and all our canning supplies. We got a big cube shelf from his sister so we have more storage and it sort of makes a wall between his office space and the rest of the room filled with stuff. My office is actually looking amazing for the first time. I bought a dresser and an apothecary cabinet and rearranged the furniture. I actually want to be in it now. The last piece missing is a yellow office chair which is on backorder from Amazon.

6. Sell the baby stuff.

I’m working on it. The summer kid’s consignment sale was canceled due to COVID and that left me with a ton of clothes. I had sold at one location but was planning on the second in this franchise because of all the clothes Emelia had grown out of. But since it was canceled I’m now drowning in kid clothes. Right now, we’re still using most of the baby gear, but I’m hoping to get it all sold for the fall sale in August. There’s so many, I started going through them again and am giving some away on Facebook just to get rid of them. Others I’m pricing low and hoping I can make some money off them.

7. Strengthen our marriage.

We’ve been doing pretty well. March and April we didn’t have our monthly date, but then started doing them at home. We ordered take out after putting the kids to bed and sat and talked at the kitchen table. It wasn’t nearly the same as getting out, but it wasn’t as lame as I thought it would be. Plus, we made sure to double up to make up for the months we missed.

We haven’t been great at scheduled weekly wine times, but there are nights we spend talking without the TV on. I think we’ve gone by the wayside since we’ve been home together all the time. Chris just told me—tomorrow is his 100th day working from home exclusively. We spend a lot of time together.

8. Declutter the house…again.

The thrift stores are closed—most of them—so it’s hard getting rid of stuff. I did get to bring the five garbage bags and old chair to a further Salvation Army a few weeks ago because they were one of the first to open. And we got rid of two bookshelves and a side table by placing them for free on Marketplace. I know there’s still more I can get rid of, but it’s hard finding a store that’s open and taking donations.

9. Have Olivia send out snail mail once a month.

We go in spurts, but I haven’t been so great at this so far. She sent out three letters to friends last month, but I wanted her to do them more consistently. Especially since those she sent them to loved them.

10. Parenting

Well, let’s start with the success. We’ve completely got Olivia nighttime trained and she doesn’t have any accidents anymore. She had a regression for a bit but hasn’t had any issues in a long time.

I had said I wanted to limit screen time, but then preschool and daycare were canceled, and well, now we watch lots of TV on a daily basis because I need some alone time (more or less). I make no apologies.

And my goal of helping Olivia work through this sense of entitlement. I don’t think things changed all that much, so I’m focusing more on it this last half of the year. My big eye-opener was when I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago when she brought up that she thinks her and her husband buy their child too many things. And I laughed and said that growing up, I got things for my birthday and Christmas, but save for some special occasions, that was about it. And I’m guilty of buying too many things for Olivia. My mom had made a comment one time about how my grandma was always buying me toys when I was younger. But I got to thinking about Olivia and how different I am with her. I may be making a generalization, but…this might be a generational thing. In fact, Chris and I were talking about this and how we never just got stuff willy billy. Chris even more so. I’m constantly buying things for Olivia and I don’t know if this is infertility stuff like “Oh I waited so long for this kid so I’m going to buy her ALL THE STUFF!” or it’s just my love of shopping for girl things. Either way, we need to put the kibosh on that since she now expects things all the time.