I hope I can word vomit this all out, so I can still post it tonight.
17 weeks brings more movement in the belly area. I’m feeling little waves, flutters, and rolls from Queso and it’s the best thing ever. I found her heartbeat on my Doppler, and I can’t believe how much I’ve missed that galloping heartbeat sound. Still having nausea and gagging. Some days are worse than others, but overall, I don’t think I’ve improved much.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking after my 16-week appointment. I don’t want another C-section, unless of course medically necessary. It took me a good six months postpartum before I started to feel normal again. Three and a half years later, I’m still feeling effects from it. I don’t want another one. My OB seems to be a hard no on that. Hence, the conundrum. I now know why women just go with a repeat C-section. It’s so much more damn easier than trying to find someone who will support a VBAC.
Chris and I did a tour of a birth center in the cities on Tuesday and it was unbelievable. The birthing suite has a huge tub and a real bed and the entire thing looks like a bed and breakfast. I would matter there. As a person who has wishes of what happens with their body. It’s more than I can even fathom having.
I just got off the phone with one of the midwives and after laying out my OB history, she still thought I was a candidate for them. She thought it was great that I had a breech baby and no worse complications as a reason for a C-section. She said most people don’t get preeclampsia again, though there’s a slight increase in risk.
If I were to start developing high blood pressure, they would start labs and home BP monitoring. If it started to get consistently high, I’d have to transfer care to a hospital. If I were to go into labor before 37 weeks, I would have to transfer care to a hospital.
On the premature labor front, she’s not too worried because I would be on progesterone injections, which she says I could do at home (yippee!), but obviously the preeclampsia bothers me.
Unfortunately, Chris and I would have to pay the $1500 fee for a VBAC birth there, thanks to enormous insurance premiums (despite the fact that a VBAC birth is much less costly for the insurance company than abdominal surgery, but hey) and it’s non-refundable. Meaning, if for whatever reason I have to transfer out (either during labor, or during a routine OB visit), we don’t get that money back. And as someone who has spent gobs of money on fertility treatments we’re still recovering from, as well as paying for a (kick-ass) doula, this also means we’re spending thousands of dollars on a hope and a prayer, when I’d otherwise be covered 100% at a hospital.
Oh, and I would be there very last spot for the year as a VBAC patient. So I have to give my answer by the end of the day tomorrow.
So there’s so much more to say, but I’ll leave it here for now. Any stories of VBAC success welcome! Especially if you had preeclampsia with your last pregnancy. Help me keep the faith that this time around, it can be different. Tell me what I should do, you guys.
So I know for this birth center you are on a deadline…but what about another local OB that is affiliated with the hospital so that you would be covered by insurance? Someone who is more VBaC friendly?? Just so you aren’t having to spend the money just to be able to even try for a VBaC, ya know?
Author
I know. That’s actually what I’ve been looking into all evening. There’s a doc I’m going to call to see if he’s taking patients tomorrow morning. Hopefully, I can make this decision tomorrow without regret.
Had a C section w/ Harmony due to Pre-e. No Pre-e the second time around (thank you baby aspirin!), but had gestational diabetes so the decision was made for Grey to arrive at 38 weeks via C section. I was open to whatever type of labor the second time around as the first one showed me that it doesn’t really matter how you get there as long as mom and baby are happy and healthy at the end. Best of luck with your decision. What’s $1,500 on top of the giant pile of $$ you’ve already spent if it gives you a shot at the experience you want?
Author
Yes, I can understand that. And if it comes down to an actual reason for a CS, I’m down. What I can’t get on board with, is an unnecessary CS. And I laughed at your last sentence because it’s so true, isn’t it?
I wanted a VBAC as well. My doctor was all for it but said typically with infertility everything is high risk, even when it isn’t (does that make sense?). I went along fine for the pregnancy, GD with my first, although I think it was a false result. Never tested on my 2nd, just assumed I was so I tried to eat better. Peyton was measuring on target mostly, never indicated too big for VBAC. Had mildly high BP towards the end but was stress related, not pregnancy. I ended up having a repeat c-section because I had an excessive amount of swelling on my feet, I was taken out of work 4 weeks before I was due and they counted it against my 12wk maternity leave. I was tired, I couldn’t move, I was stressed and I ended up requesting a c-section because I was just ready for her to get here. And that time around, it was a completely different surgery. It was scheduled, not rushed. They used a weird vacuum pump system over the incision and it allowed me to shower as soon as the nerve block was off. I healed faster. The only difference I had between pregnancies the first, I had no PPD. my 2nd I had post partum anxiety. And I didn’t even realize that was a thing or that I was going through it until I was coming out of it.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what you want to shoot for. Just be ok with changing your mind or baby Q taking charge of the decision.
Good luck! I’ve been rooting for you!
Author
I can so get this. I would have done the same. I know none of this is a guarantee (wouldn’t it be nice if it was?) but I’m really hoping it works in my favor this time around.
There aren’t any birth centers that are covered by your insurance? Bummer. Just come to Washington to give birth. I know, not helpful! If it is really either or with zero other options then that is tough. Your body is absolutely designed to give birth and in my experience (1 hospital and 1 home birth-which is basically the same as a birth center- I felt much more cared for as an individual outside of the hospital. And my husband liked it much better too. I hate that the money out of fertility treatments has to impact birth too, but I get it. Hope whatever you decide works out!
Author
With my insurance, I basically need a referral for it to be considered in network. Which is really nice. So that’s not really the issue. And there’s a difference between a hospital birth center and a community birth center. At least here. For instance, the hospital I delivered Olivia at just built a huge BC attached to it. It was awesome, but is apparently not VBAC friendly at all. Thank you for your support!
The birth center sounds amazing!!! Have you joined ICAN on Facebook or looked up your local chapter? They can direct you to the VBAC friendly doctors in your area. I also highly recommend listening to the VBAC stories on The Birth Hour podcast. I started listening to them when I was trying to decide what I wanted to do and they quickly solidified my decision to go with a VBAC. The money thing sucks and I totally understand your hesitancy. I had a not great experience with my doula last time (essentially she wasn’t there when I needed her and she was there when I didn’t need her) and we felt like we just threw $1,000 away. I know that having a doula increases my chances at having a successful VBAC so we worked out a deal with our new doula. If I ended up needing a repeat c-section, without laboring with our doula at all, she will convert her labor doula services to postpartum doula services so we don’t lose out in the money. Maybe you could work something like this out with your doula and so of you end up having a repeat c-section you won’t lose out on the money from both her and the birth center?
Author
I haven’t joined them, but I have an awesome FB on VBACs here in the Twin Cities that’s been really helpful in terms of finding providers. I am thankful my doula came highly recommended. She’s expensive, but I think it’ll be worth it. I think she’ll be amazing support. However, I don’t think she’ll let me convert the money if I have a CS. I asked her about that and no go.
I never had a c-section but did have preeclampsia with both pregnancies. My sister did too. And she had a VBAC with no problems. She did so at hospital since 34 yrs ago there were no options. So you see, VBAC’s have been very successful for many decades. Doctors love c-sections because they can fit them to THEIR schedule.
Author
Yes! This! Thank you for sharing that, because it gives me hope.
I have had two successful vbacs (no pain medication during labor and I think that was key!) and I’d pay money to do them again versus a csection!!
I had a VBAC! Great all around and highly recommend! The difference is that I had a vaginal delivery first, CS second, then my VBAC. Can you shop around for an OB that does them in hospital? I don’t want to be a downer, but in full disclosure I have a friend who was the 1% whose VBAC didn’t go well. All’s well that ends well, but it shook me enough that I would only consider doing one in a place where a CS is an immediate possibility if things go south. Also I’m a nurse, so obviously super paranoid.
It’s so crazy that some birth centers/hospitals aren’t VBAC friendly and opt straight for major surgery instead. I really don’t get it, unless there is a significant medical reason of course. Good luck in making your decision!
I would never tell you what to do but I will tell you to trust yourself and your body. Talk to your Doula and get her input too!
The only thing I will say is that I’ve yet to meet anyone that regretted their birth-center birth. All of the mamas I know that had one loved the experience.
No advice (obviously) just encouragement that you can and WILL make the right decision for you and your family. You have been an advocate for yourself and your daughters (how cool is that?!?!) since the beginning and there is no reason for this time to be any different. Holding you in the Light and sending you peace and discernment.
My OB supported a VBAC but I opted for a c section my 2nd pregnancy as I already knew the recovery process with that. And so far it’s a much better experience than my 1st time. The recovery has been way less rough.
Whatever decision you make, you will make it the right one. And when it’s made you can be sure you made the best choice you could. Whatever happens after that is what it is. Sorry it has to be such a tough choice though x
First baby was a vaginal delivery with forceps and big tear. 13 months later (who needs birth control after 6 years of infertility and two miscarriages?!) I had a C-section at 37 weeks after a failed external version for my breech baby. I had a horrible skin reaction to the antiseptic spray and wound dressing! Way worse recovery for the skin than incision, took months to heal! Had a VBAC for my next baby 6 years later with no complications although the nurse on duty when I was admitted at the hospital didn’t believe me when I told her I was in active labor. Baby was born less than 3 hours later. My kids are now 31, 30 and 24. Enjoy your hard fought for pregnancy and trust you instincts for what you want and what is right for you. It all goes by so fast, but I remember being in the trenches. Infertility is such a mind f..k, control what you can, when you can 🙂
Curious what you decided? I understand where you’re coming from, and your csection recovery sounds like it was difficult. If I was going to labor, I would want all the support, humanity, and nurturing, too. It looks like a csection is likely my choice because I’m older. And if it’s very likely, I’ve decided it doesn’t make sense for me to invest in a doula or birth center. Sending good thoughts for this decision.