There is a lot of pressure to come up with goals for a new year. I didn’t even do a post on goals for 2019, but I did do ones for 2018 and 2017 though I made sure not to make them actual goals—more things I’m looking forward to. So I decided to do a post for 2020, though 20 things is way too much, therefore, I have 10. Ten is doable, right? 

10 Things I’m Excited For In 2020

1. Aim higher in freelancing.

I wrote two articles for Parents.com this year, by far my biggest byline. I wrote for What To Expect and VICE and Healthline. I’m proud of all those. I’ve pitched HuffPost, the New York Times, Good Housekeeping, and Washington Post, but have gotten all rejections. Some I’ve gotten actual emails back from editors, with encouragement to keep pitching them. The more rejections I get, the higher the chances I have to get an acceptance. Rejections mean I’m still going out there and pitching, so we’ll see what happens with this. You never know what opportunity will come from one of these articles. I wrote a piece for VICE and wound up doing my first podcast. You never know who’s reading.

2. Pay more attention to this blog.

A lot of posts I’ve been writing recently on here have been updates on Olivia or day in the life posts, or what we’ve been up to. We aren’t doing any more fertility treatments, so I want to use this space to talk about more what’s going on in my life. Some of my favorite blogs I’ve read are the ones where they really get deep into their thoughts and feelings on things, and it makes me really realize how much people get invested in that. I mean, blogging is weird, right? It’s like this online journal that everyone reads and if I can provide entertainment in the form of my words for someone’s late-night read on their phone before they put it on their nightstand, well then hey, I’ll be happy and know this blog can be more than a pretty face. 

I might be bringing back those Right Now posts I used to do in 2017. I’ll definitely be working on a FAQ page since I get a ton of emails asking me a lot of the same questions. I’d also love to, you know, actually send out those newsletters since I’m paying for a PO box for it. Note: Please don’t send me snail mail because I literally check that PO box once a year. Ha. 

3. Heal my body.

I went through a cumulative seven years of trying to get pregnant. This was all in the form of fertility drugs, hormone injections, exercise restrictions, stress-eating, and basically walking on eggshells when it came to my body and its ability to carry life. While I’m no longer at my heaviest, thanks to the constant nursing of Baby Emelia, I have a long way to go. So. I’d like to lose 20 pounds. This wouldn’t be my goal weight because that would be 38 pounds I would be need to lose in order to fall into the normal BMI range. But this would be a huge “weight” literally lifted off me. I want to get back into a strength training program to build up my lower body again after it became so deconditioned after my hospital stay with Olivia. I want to eat fewer carbs and more whole foods. I want to get back to drinking 100 oz of water and working with my health coach again. Right now, I’m only 11 weeks postpartum, so I’m giving myself grace on most of this until the summer and she isn’t nursing as much as she now.

4. Make a budget for real this time.

We made a budget two years ago and by that I mean we went through all our monthly obligations for bills. Student loans, the IVF loan, credit card debt. Our five year $37,000 loan ( our second—the first was another five-year loan of about $20,000 from when we did Attain.) was quietly paid off in September, but there were no party hats and balloons. I was hospitalized on October 1st to deliver the baby. Still, we’ve had some changes in our finances in 2019 and hopefully another change in early 2020, so it would be interesting to go through our finances again, but this time look at how much we can put in savings and budget for. Will we stick to a budget? Honestly, probably not, but we do want to be more conscious of how we spend our money.

5. Make a list of “some day” projects I need to accomplish and actually work through them.

I have all sorts of weird small projects I want to get done this year that have been lingering. I need to finish my physical scrapbooks. I ended up selling the majority of my scrapbook supplies a few years ago since the days of spending my evenings scrapbooking are long gone. I have one left to finish and one from our trip to San Francisco in 2012. I want to do yearly Shutterfly scrapbooks of our pictures and I was supposed to start with 2016… Olivia’s first year. So…I’m now four scrapbooks behind in that. I want to organize photos in my Lightroom and the last I did that was in 2017. So I’m two years behind in that. I have a recipe book of recipes I made from Pinterest and I have a ton of recipes I need to get in there. I have pictures I need to get in frames and up on the walls. I need to keep up with selling the kids’ clothes. I have an obscene amount of saved links in Facebook I need to go through and same with my virtual junk drawer of writing tips, blog ideas, links I want to remember. Chris and I need to clean and organize both our offices.

6. Sell the baby stuff.

Selling baby clothes and toys is hard. It was really hard after Olivia because I’d keep some of the cutest clothes and most loved toys in case we had another baby. But we were also trying to save for another transfer, so the money I made selling at the kids’ consignment sales went towards that. It was motivation to get rid of things. But of course, we kept the big baby equipment. It’s weird to think that by the end of next year, almost all the big baby stuff will be sold off. But there’s also something really freeing about that. Making way for bigger kids things. Knowing we’re really done with trying to get pregnant and moving on with our lives, instead of saving them “just in case” we have another. I haven’t decided what I want to use that money for. Maybe I’ll put it toward toys and clothes for both kids for the next season and any leftover money is put away for our annual family vacation up north. I think that’s what I’m going to do.

7. Strengthen our marriage.

I’ve put this goal down for the last two years, but I know how important it is, so here it is making an appearance again. Since Olivia was born, Chris and I have done monthly date nights and weekly Wine Times, but those fell off the radar in the last half of 2019 due to pregnancy and baby stuff. I want to make sure we’re better about this, and bonus if we can have more than one night a week where the TV is off. It’s funny how much of a habit it can become, turning the TV on in the evenings after putting Olivia to bed. I’ve talked about the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast a few times on here, and it’s a great conversation starter for us, so I would love incorporating some of these into our Wine Times. If you haven’t heard of it, definitely check it out. It’s Christian-based, but it’s so relevant to everyone because it’s so real. No fluff, I promise.

8. Declutter the house…again.

In 2018, I made my way meticulously through each room of the house and donated gobs and gobs of stuff. Like upwards of 20 trash bags. It’s been a year and I want to do it again. I’m sure it won’t be the same number of bags, but I know there’s more I can do.

9. Have Olivia send out snail mail once a month.

Jane’s daughter, Kate, from Mine To Command, has sent Olivia several things through the last few years and every time, Olivia gets a kick out of it. Have I sent anything back? No. Because I send Jane an email or message when really, Olivia would have a lot more fun sending Kate something back. And then there was another time Olivia got a letter from my friend’s daughter in the mail with some stickers. It’s been something in the back of my mind for a while now, and this year, we’re going to get some letters out to people.

10. Parenting

This is broad, but we’ve got some stuff to work on this year. Limiting Olivia’s screen time for one. We don’t let her use our phones or any sort of tablet except in very special circumstances, but the amount of time she spends watching TV is pretty embarrassing, and it’s something I’ve recently been more conscious about. It’s just so nice when I need to nurse the baby and want to read on my phone, or shoot off some emails or, you know, blog? and I know she watches far beyond the recommended amounts. Honestly, she’s probably going to watch more than an hour of TV a day, but I want to limit it as much as I can. 

We’re also working on nighttime potty training which was sort of going well a few weeks ago when Chris started getting her up in the middle of the night when the baby would wake to nurse. Unfortunately, that fell by the wayside and we were getting annoyed if she’d wake up with a wet pull up and we’d go through two a night instead of one. Honestly, she just really seems to have no interest, but we’re sick of spending the money on pull-ups. At some point this year, it will happen. 

One of my daughter’s greatest strengths is her compassion toward others. She’s also so concerned that everyone is taken care of. When she gets a sticker at Target, she makes sure to get two—one for me and one for her. But in the last few months, I’ve really started to notice her sense of entitlement. I know she’s four and so much of this is probably developmental, but I’ve seen her sense that the world revolves around her, and I want her to start thinking about others over herself. Case in point: we attended a silent auction at her preschool about a month ago and most of the baskets were of toys. I put my name down on a few she wanted, but when they called the names of who won what and she knew we didn’t win anything…well, it was a hilarious mix of “Wahhhhh! Why I not win anyting????” and “Aw! I never win ANYTING!” in which she’d break into fresh tears. It didn’t help that she didn’t win ANY of the door prizes either. And then there was the time we were shopping for a birthday present recently for her cousin and she only wanted to look at the toys she was interested in. And then she whined and complained when it was time to go and she couldn’t get anything. It’s not like she comes home with a toy every time we go out, but obviously I’m buying her enough things that she feels she’s entitled to something every time. It’s something I want to work on with her and part of why I want to send out snail mail with her. Please don’t judge me. I already know I’m a total asshole.

So there they are. My ten things.

What things are you excited about this year?

What are you looking forward to?